That is not the best way to start a conversation.

When I hear this phrase it sets me up. Almost the moment the words leave the person’s mouth, I can feel my face go flush. I start to get a ringing in my ears and I fear the worse. Most of the time the but is followed with something that really isn’t that bad. I think maybe people say that first to help lessen the blow.

My first thoughts are wondering why would someone do something they know would make me mad in the first place. If you care enjoy to tell me about it now means you want me to know. It also means you knew you were doing something that would hurt me. I wonder if you just thought about what you were doing first and maybe talked to me, it wouldn’t be so bad. Or maybe if you just knew it would be something that would risk me being mad, you would skip it.

My second thoughts came to the fact that someone thinks of me as a person who gets mad. Makes me wonder if I am too judgmental on people’s actions. Maybe it is not all actions but certain ones people know that seem to upset me most. Maybe there is something about me I need to see in this. To notice which people say this to me and about what topics. Maybe I need to build a relationship or more trust and love to reduce the need for secrets or judgements.

In the end, I realize it probably has to be about me but…

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe!

2 Comments »