There was this guy I knew and he was so straight. 

He walked around like a man with a strut trying to pick up the ladies. He drank beer and not the light kind. He made sure it was always Bud. He knew all the stats on his favorite sports team and knew which season each sport played in. He even knew how to play football and could catch and throw the ball. 

He wasn’t afraid to kill bugs and he always knew how to fix a car or the lawnmower. He would go outside and enjoy cutting down trees and planting new plants. He knew how to get rid of crab grass and the garden snakes never made him scream. 

He would only handshake his male friends and he never cried once, EVER. He didn’t dress up for Halloween and he would never see a chick flick. He didn’t use body wash and only used 2 in 1 shampoo. He never trimmed body hair and couldn’t be bothered to moisturize. 

He was way too masculine and spoke with a VERY deep voice. He was tall and built from all his work in the gym. He liked girls a lot. He was always talking about their boobs or their butts. He didn’t listen to Britney Spears or Beyonce but he knew he would bang them. 

We never say a guy is too straight. It is never mentioned or talked about it but we are not afraid to say someone is too gay or something is too gay. 

Something to think about…

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