That is how I describe this picture of me with my dad. I posed like that because I thought it was fun and silly. I was sassy! 

People always ask me when did I know I was gay. I do not think there is a moment you know you are gay. I think there is only a moment when you accept you are gay. 

Growing up I always knew I was different. I remember in my first year of school that when the boys chased the girls to kiss them, it was always accepted that I was being chased with the girls. I remember playing house in school and I stayed home to cook and clean with my female classmates while the boys went to work to build things. 

I knew I saw and felt things differently than most of the kids. I didn’t know why but I just knew I did. What really was sad was there was no one to talk to about it. No examples to show me I was normal. 

My gifted teacher (who I did not care for) told my mom in my program review that she needed to get me to play sports to make more male friends to help me develop. I was doing well in all other areas but she thought this would really help me overall.

She wasn’t wanting me to learn to work well with a team or learn hand-eye coordination. She wanted me to be “normal” like the other boys so I would fit in. She was wanting me to fit more into the male gender role. She wanted me not to say my favorite color was purple. She didn’t want me to like Jem and Holograms. She didn’t want me to like art and music more than I did PE. 

I am sure she was only 24 years old and didn’t she know much about life by then. I am sure she had the best intentions but she wasn’t allowing me to be me. Instead she was judging me, as a child, and wanting me to fit the mold as so many other children did regardless if they were happy or not. 

My mom did not think it was necessary to sign me up for any sports groups.

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