August
21
Justin’s friend Dana came to visit us a few weeks ago. While she was here we decided to take her to the Pirates Dinner Show. You can not come to Orlando without seeing a dinner show.
I purchased us VIP tickets so would be able to sit in the front, get upgraded food, participate in the show AND get our picture on the actual ship with a pirate. (I paid for VIP really just for the picture on the ship with a pirate, seriously)
We arrive early and eat appetizers and enjoy the pre-show. Justin and Dana purchased drinks in cool metal souvenir glasses and I got a shaped pirate glass.
We get walked into the show to sit down and our pirate (the one we are supposed to cheer for) comes over to introduce himself.
He talks to the straight couple next to us with kids and then turns to us. He asks where we are from and Justin says we are from Orlando and Dana says she is from Texas.
Our pirate turns to the straight guy and says, “You know what Texas is known for?… Steers and Beers…” He pauses, looks over to Justin and I and says, “What did you think I would say?” (the famous saying is Steers and Queers) and walks off.
A gay joke? Not even a funny gay joke but an offensive one. This is how you introduce yourself to us?
I do not walk around all day thinking about being gay. I just walk around being me. There are moments like this that remind me that some people do only think of me as being gay.
Did this comment ruin the night? NO! I was getting my picture on a pirate ship! We had a fun time and I got my picture!
I would love to think my positive attitude is what allowed me to move on with my night but part of me is afraid it is the simple fact that I have gotten use to these type comments and just have learned to accept them and move on…
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Brad
on 21 Aug 2009 at 4:02 pm #
I have never heard the “Steers and Queers” line..
I have heard the line about Wyoming where the sheep are scared…
Or that could be Montana? I don’t know-
It looks like you had a fun time, regardless of what your pirate said to you.. You didn’t post a picture of you and the homophobic pirate.
Was he attractive? Or did his personality make him unattractive?
Michael
on 21 Aug 2009 at 5:31 pm #
Brad,
Did not get my photo with that pirate. Had it taken with another one.
David
on 22 Aug 2009 at 10:46 am #
Did you cheer for your assigned pirate? I have been working with attitude for some time now. After a while it becomes a good habit and people notice. I don’t see it as a cop out or denial at all. In fact it allows you to be more present and rational when you do decide to be open honest and direct with homophobia.
Michael
on 22 Aug 2009 at 5:36 pm #
David,
Of course I did. It was all a game and I am a little competitive.
I agree that you choose your attitude that is why he did not ruin my night or any one with me. We moved from what happened. It is just sad we have to move on instead of it not happening.
It happens to everyone though. Due to gender, race, age and even weight. People face these comments each day which they should not.
You think bullying stops on the playground but it moves with us in adulthood as well.
Lisa in Ohio
on 25 Aug 2009 at 7:47 am #
I don’t live in a city as ‘progressive’ as Orlando. When I go to the grocery store, with my extremely short haircut, I catch people staring at me. Many have a look of trying to figure something out. Others just seem shocked. On occasion I turn and give them a big smile and say ‘HI!’ real loud. Often they jump, drop the soup can and roll their carts away quickly. It can be fun to watch, but it doesn’t feel so good.
When I’m in a particularly edgy mood I claim to be just getting my hair back after chemo. Invariably, people are relieved to hear about a life threatening disease. They thought it was worse…that I had the queer….
Can people really characterize me by my hairstyle? It really has nothing to do with me being gay. I just like short hair!
I wish everyone would quit staring at me. Go learn something for crying out loud!
Michael
on 25 Aug 2009 at 3:02 pm #
Lisa,
It is so sad. Why is it such a big deal with gender and hair? Seriously?
I like your wise comments because there are so many reasons your hair could be short and even the simple fact you just like it that way. It is YOUR hair.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. It really allows us to see different perspectives.
Lisa in Ohio
on 25 Aug 2009 at 7:37 pm #
Its nice to have a place to share. I also secretly covet your pirate cup.
Felecia PN
on 04 Sep 2009 at 11:38 pm #
I have to say that it is sad that little petty people can’t think of anything else to do but try to bring someone down…I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t jeoulous that you could afford to pay for 3 VIP passes and he had to settle for working there.
I had some trully great gay friends about 10 years back and my daughter was actually the flower girl at their wedding. Its sad that they moved away and we lost touch but they are always on my mind…more than some of the straight friends who have come and gone from my life. A lot of my straight friends think I am joking when I tell them I would rather hang out in a gay bar than a straight bar and that I miss my guys so much I think about posting a sign out somewhere that reads “GAY FRIEND WANTED”. I miss the hours we spent watching tv together, going to the Tranny Shows, and laying in my bed with 2 men watching tv and knowing that I was wasn’t getting any at the end of the night (yeah that was as depressing as it sounds *LOL*). Honestly these two gentleman with their open hearts, quick wits, and ability to love brought more to my life than the fact that they were gay!
I think that the problem with some straight people is that they can not accept that many gay men and women are very comfortable in thier own skin and take charge of their own lives. Being gay does not define who they are or what they choose to do it is simply a side fact and I love that your video showed that.
Why do people think that because your gay your suppose to include it in your introduction like “Hi my name is … and I’m gay”? I mean I am half white and half black and look like am mexican but no one expects me to go around saying “Hi I’m Felecia and I am a black woman”…same horse different color if you ask me.
Joseph
on 10 Sep 2009 at 2:09 pm #
I truly don’t understand people. It shames me to say that there were times when I looked down on gay people (that was when I had self-esteem issues). Let me clear something – I am not gay, but most definitely gay friendly. I have gay friends, and I am not bothered by this at all. It really sets my blood boiling when I hear people talking about gays like they are sickos. Instead of trying to educate themselves, people choose to be judgemental. I have actually encountered cases were the parents were like “if you were a murderer or a thief it wouldn’t have mattered, but if you’re gay I don’t want to hear from you ever again”. When will people realize it’s not a matter of choice? You don’t wake up one day and go “hmmm….what a great day…I think I’ll be gay today”. Nobody wants to submit themselves to a lifetime of ridicule or far worse.
People fear what they don’t understand. Well damn it, grab a book, check online, there are TONS of information of gay life. Educate yourself and then throw the rock.
Being gay is who you re, but it is not just WHAT you are. you are a human being, capable of many things – love, hate, joy, sadness, anger, and so forth. Who you sleep with is nobody’s business but your own. So then why do people meddle? I think because their life sucks and they need something else to focus on.
And Lisa, i think chicks with short hair are HOT!!!!
Lisa
on 10 Sep 2009 at 8:12 pm #
HA!! Joseph, thank you. Why, yes, I DO look hot today…
I was just in Chicago this weekend for my brother’s wedding. I was a groomswoman. I stood next to him, wore a black pant suit (a very nice one) and was very proud and happy that he asked me. I looked like me and I looked darned good.
Before I went my mother told me I should get a ‘pretty pretty dress.’ I had to tell her it wasn’t a costume wedding and I wasnt expected to go as anyone else, i could just go as me.
wearing a pretty pretty dress would have been like going in drag.