November

5 Years

When do you bite your tongue or when do you speak your mind? When do you make a big deal or when do you just let it go? When is it time to confront someone and when is it not worth it?

It is hard to determine in the heat of the moment what to do. Our emotional mind jumps in and we want to react instead of taking the time to truly respond (with thought) to the current situation.

One way I handle this is by asking myself, “Will this matter in 5 years?”

Think about it. A lot of times we make a big deal out of small moments in our lives. Think about all the time, stress and anger you will save when you just think about how important something will be in 5 years.

It really helps me create my reality and stop allowing others to affect my life that do not need to.

Give it a try this week…

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November

11

Kidney Woes

So this past Friday I woke up in pain. It was a pain I have never felt before and I knew something was not right. I ended up at the local ER and found out I had a kidney stone. Yes a kidney stone. I was not so worried about the kidney stone, I was more worried about how to never have this happen again.

I was home from the ER and feeling much better but I kept fearing the pain coming back. So I spent most of my day stressing that any movement, any pain, any sound was going to lead me back to pain. I was waiting for it to happen again.

It reminded how I was living once again in fear. I didn’t go to bed on Thursday thinking I would wake up in pain from a kidney stone but it happened. I survived the experience but know I live with the fear of it returning. Why?

Do I need to be prepared for what will happen? I know what this experience was like, I know how to handle it and I even have pain pills in case. BUT, I can not live my life waiting for the next “pain” moment to occur.

It would not be fair for me to live my life fearing the pain of life. I am going to get hurt, I am going to get disappointment, and I am going to get sad. It is just a part of life. The important part is how I handle it when it happens. That will determine the success of the situation.

Of course there is a highlight of the story. While I was getting my vitals checked by a 20 year old Medical Assistant he say my Rollins College baseball cap on my head. He asked if I was a student there and I said I was. He asked how old I was and I said 30 and he said I thought you were much younger than that.

That guy deserves a raise.

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November

10

We Deserve More

An open letter to people of the United States:

Yes I’ve been in an awful mood since Wednesday. I know it bugged you when I didn’t join your boisterous, thrilling and optimistic conversations. And you probably noticed that I winced and shrugged when you went on about “change.”

Please remember this has been a week of change for me too.

• The state of Florida supported Amendment 2, voting to outlaw domestic partnerships in a sweeping change to its constitution. Thousands of Florida couples, same-sex and not, are at risk of losing health care and pension benefits.

• The state of Arkansas voted to prohibit unmarried couples (again, both same-sex and not) from serving as foster parents or adopting, essentially saying I am unfit to be a parent.

• The progressive state of California voted by a wide margin to give more living space to chickens and pigs. They also voted to change the state constitution to reflect that my relationship of fourteen years does not have the same value as your marriage.

You just have to remember for a moment I didn’t wake up to the same reality you did on Wednesday morning. And you’re gonna have to give me a couple more days.

Signed,

The guy in the cube next door, the guy handing you a Latte, the lady buying a house from you, the nurse holding your hand, the cop stopping traffic so you can cross the street…and your son.

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November

7

Playing Small

Ask yourself…

Are you playing small or living large?

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November

6

Throw Out the Rule Book

I always wondered where the formal rule book was. Every one seems to imply that there is a written book full of rules that we must follow to be who we are. I am reminded daily of these rules and I wish someone would just hand me the book so I can study it. I learned quickly that there is no book because these rules are “unwritten” but everyone knows them….except me apparently.

In the past week, I was told all these great rules to help me achieve a better life. Every one of them has nothing to do with me but what “others” (I do not know who these others are but they are a powerful bunch) want me to do.

Well this group of “others” haven’t invited me to lunch so I say screw them! I am throwing their rule book away. This is my life and I am unique. There is no book of rules that is going to cover how I live because I am the first to be living my life and I will be the last. I am creating my own rule book which allows me to be me. Which allows me to be happy and allows me to love, laugh and LIVE!

I encourage all of you to throw out the rule book as well. Who needs it? It is heavy, drags you down and makes you live for “others” who no one particularly likes! It is time to take control of your life.

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November

5

Dancing Through a Theme Park

I mentioned earlier this month that my friend Robert and I went to Halloween Horror Nights many times this past month. We spent a lot of time watching the Rocky Horror Tribute show. We both love Rocky Horror and the show was great this year.

I would get so excited every time it started. I thought it was because of the one dancer guys, who I nicknamed my Rocky Horror Lover, but I knew that was just a fun game. The real reason I got excited every time was because I wanted to be in the show.

On the way home from every night seeing the show, I would plan out how I would perform in the show. What parts I would sing. What dance moves I would learn. When Justin was in school, I would practice my personal dance routines to perform in the Rocky Horror Show or a new show I would be cast in.

I spent a lot of my early years wanting to be an actor or dancer. I took dance lessons and acting classes. I wanted so bad to be on a sitcom one day. I knew in reality that wasn’t where I would end up and I personally couldn’t handle all the rejection that came from the business. My one regret was that I didn’t ever pursue performing in a theme park.

When I was younger, I wanted more than a theme park so I never thought about it. Now I think it would be a great job. When I was 16 I worked a few months at Universal at the Jaws ride. I had so much fun working there. I tried out for Halloween Horror Nights last year and was cast but wasn’t able to juggle everything to allow me to be able to participate.

I know wonder what it would be like to work in the parks part time. Doing a parade, a seasonal show or just working on a fun ride like Jaws again. I know with my current schedule I wouldn’t be able to do that.

It is easy for me to say that I am 30 now and my time has passed to be able to do those things but I know it will be something I will think about every once and awhile. I have no doubt that one day I will get to do it again if only for a month so I can say I did and have a good time with it. Life is too short to regret and I am not allowing myself to make excuses for not doing something I have always wanted to do.

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November

4