May
11
I have mentioned how much I love to have control. I really hold on tight to my life and choices. I hold on so tight I can literally feel my knuckles turn white from the fear of letting go. I spend months researching a choice or an event. I like to make sure I know what will happen or what may not happen.
I am always setting goals to better the future. I set the goals, work the goals and create more goals. I even revisit the goals and self doubt my choices. I live life with complete control.
Well the perception of complete control…
Do we truly ever have control of our lives? Or do we just tell ourselves that to feel safe and secure in our minds?
A great coach asked me what would happen if I let go? I know what would happen. I would cry. I would cry because of the fear of no longer having control and for finally feeling free.
What is the worst that could happen? Nothing that isn’t already happening in my life. I don’t have control right now just the perception that I do. The only difference is I would be free to enjoy the ride. Enjoy the present and live my life.
What keeps me from letting go? FEAR! Fear of the unknown.
Do I ever truly know what is going to happen in my life? Of course not. I only hope or should I say…believe.
Believing is really all I can do to help me move forward past the fear of letting go. Life has a funny way of turning left and then quickly right but you survive. Life gives you options and you have to make a choice, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose but in the end…you end up back on your feet once again.
This great coach told me how life never throws more than you can handle and it doesn’t make a difference what you plan for because you are right where you need to be. Right where you should be and you will end up where you are supposed to be. Just how life works its way out.
This is hard to listen to and force myself to let go but I just have to believe. I have to believe that life will never throw anything at me I can not handle. I have to believe that everything will always work out. I have to believe in myself.
Life rewards courage. Isn’t time I let go?
Isn’t time you let go and just believe?
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