When I talk to people about leadership, I always tell them how important it is to recognize that leadership is all about relationships. Life is all about relationships.

As a leader or just a person, we want to make sure we are real. Being the real us allows life to be so much easier. We will then be surrounded by people who love us for us and we will do the same for them.

The important part of building relationships is getting to know people. I have friends who when I tell a story and mention a name they say, “I know Bob.” The reality is they met Bob once and all they KNOW about Bob is his name is Bob. That is not knowing someone. Just because you have their business card from a networking meeting doesn’t mean you know them. Just because you talked to them once at a party and haven’t seen or talked to them in months, doesn’t mean you know them.

My favorite story is one about a bad boss I had. He would come to my office for work and because he knew how important I felt relationship building was he would try to build one with me. Each time he would look at the picture on my desk and say, “Is that your cat?” I would say yes. He would then ask, “What is her name?” I would say Piper.

Every month when he would come visit he would sit down and start with, “Is that your cat?” This went on for at least 6 times before one day when he asked, “Is that your cat?” I responded and said, “No, it came with the frame.”

It was rude that he pretended to care when he didn’t. Some would say it is an effort he made, but if he was truly trying he would have at least remembered he has asked me about the picture before. My office was fulls of personal items so he could ask me about anyone of them but he always went for the closest item.

I want you to realize it is OK not to remember everything a person says. But be honest about it. I tell people all the time that I never forget a face but I am bad with names. I am honest with them. When I do not remember someone, I say I am sorry.

But, when I take the time to truly build a relationship with you, I listen. I pay attention and I care. I may not remember your cat’s name from the picture BUT I will remember that is important to you because you keep it on your desk and I will make the effort to learn what else is important to you as well.

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