June
24
This week, while talking to my mom, I was told that my dad is going to get a cane to help him walk.
My dad is in his mid 70′s so a cane should not surprise me and he has been in a lot of pain lately and is afraid he will fall. It is great that he wants a cane to help him around. Knowing the fact my dad has worked so hard his whole life it is a great thing he is only needing a cane now.
This information still upsets me.
I do not think anyone wants to see their parent getting older. I know I have always thought of my dad as strong and to see him needing a cane really shocks my perspective of him. I think it is a reality check that your parents will need you to take care of them someday.
Of course then I go to the selfish side and wonder, who will take care of me?
This is a mirror back to me that I am getting older too. I always believed my parents would always be here on this Earth forever. How would I survive without them?
That is when I realize it is all about growing up. We all have to face the fact we are getting older as well. We were born knowing we were headed to death and that is how life is. It is not about all the road blocks, health issues, frustrations that make a difference. It is how we use the time we have right now that truly makes the difference.
You only have the present and you have to enjoy it. My dad is doing this, just now with a cane.
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David Miller
on 24 Jun 2009 at 10:07 pm #
Aging parents and their ever failing health can be a real wake up call as we get older. My mom was recently diagnosed with dementia at 72. The news was hard to take in but her actions and behavior are now more explainable. I take it day by day. Some days are easy while others are very difficult….not so much with my mom, but more with my on state of mind and all the questions that come into play. How can I help? What should I do? Should I do anything at this point? What planning should be made? The questions ebb and flow and can be overwhelming at times.
Seeing my mom grow old is a wonderful sight. She has lived a good life in her later years. My father passed away when I was 18, so he is frozen in time at age 40.
You are absolutely right Michael…live in the present and make every moment worth living.
catherine
on 27 Jun 2009 at 10:02 pm #
being as aged as i am means that i have fabulous kids to care for, and a fabulous mom to worry about. it’s hard to be in the middle. i try to remember i am lucky to have 2 generations to love!
thank you for another thoughtful and inspiring post.
Barbara Silva
on 01 Jul 2009 at 4:04 pm #
My mom is now 94 and living with me. The hardest part for me was when I had to make the transition from “care receiver” to “care giver.” When I first realized I needed to take my mom’s checkbook away from her because she was subscribing to the same magazines over and over – we’re good to get People til the next century! lol
Still, I am thankful for every day I have with her.
I take better care of my health these days. My son said – “Mom, I want you to be around as long as Mia (his grandma) has. Give me the opportunity to care for you the way you care for her.”
That’s heaven!
Robert
on 04 Jul 2009 at 3:02 pm #
Uh Huh… I knew this topic bothered you and you were lying to me when we talked about it on the phone… See Michael, you cant lie to me… and when you do, it comes out on your Blog.. LOL As for the ” who will care for you statement”…. This is why we have such great friends in our lives to compliment the families we are born into… It makes me smile when I think about when things were down, who was there for me, My family of course, but YOU, my friends… The ones we have chosen to share this journey with along the way are the ones that make sure we are on a good path and help each other… This is what brings such great rewards to our friendships and our lives…..
Michael
on 05 Jul 2009 at 9:15 am #
Robert,
Yes it all comes out on the blog doesn’t it.
I agree with you. Your friends are one of the best parts of your family as they help you in ways you never imagine. They are truly there for you as much or even more and just expand the love and caring into our lives.