There are 2 ways to get into a pool. You can slowly walk your way in; taking it inch by inch as your body adjusts to the water. Or you can just jump right in!

Which person are you?

I like to remember this choice about the pool when planning my life. I can quickly get caught up in uncertianity and insecurity. I start to doubt my choices and dwell on the what ifs. I start spending too much time researching my choices than needs be. I then start asking everyone for their opinion about my choice. More and more these actions keep me from taking action and living my life.

Life is for living and it is YOUR life. Who knows what is best for you? You do! Taking the time to just believe in yourself and trust that you know what you are doing is such an important step in living your life out loud.

You can stop slowly moving through life and wasting time simply because you are nervous the water may be too cold. Just jump in! When you do, you will be thankful because you will feel so alive. Even if the slightest thing goes wrong, you will know what to do and you will move yourself in the right direction.  

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We always talk about being good  but sometimes you just have to go out and be a little bad. We all deserve a little bad time, don’t we?

Here is a list of 20 bad things you could do. Cross of the ones you have already done:

• used an alias
• acted on a wild impulse
• ignored the rules
• spoke your mind
• jaywalked
• indulged your desires
• challenged an authority figure
• bought something expensive and impractical
• used unconventional wisdom
• said "no!"
• called in sick and went to the beach
• shopped shamelessly
• went on a date just for the free meal
• mastered creative parking
• took an extended lunch break to go see a movie
• practiced random acts of exhibitionism
• stood up for yourself just because
• did something you knew you would love now but regret later
• flirted unabashedly
• skipped a work meeting because it was going to be boring

After crossing off all the ones you have done, you have a list of bad things left to do.  So go have fun this Monday and get started on the list…

 Remember: To be truly good, you have to be a little bad.

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Going to Sea World this weekend allowed me to be able to cross another item off my Life List.

I have always wanted to go to the Dine with Shamu experience. Basically you get to have dinner behind the scenes of the Shamu show while you get a close up interaction with Shamu and the trainers.

They talk about how they train the killer whales with positive reinforcement and build relationships with them. The trainers then come around the table signing autographs and answering any questions you have about training and the show.

I had a great time not only because the experience was fun but because I had a great sense of accomplishment. For years I thought about going but always didn’t make the time. Now I can cross it off my list and say I did it! Plus, it allows me to start thinking of what is next…

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I said I was going to make it to Sea World this month and I did! Justin and I were able to spend all day Saturday at the theme park. It was his first time at Sea World so he was quite excited to see what the park had to offer. I ran him all around seeing all the different shows and aquariums around the park. We were having a great time until the fun photo experience…

As we left the Shark Encounter, they have a photo area where you can have your picture taken inside a plastic shark to look as if you are being attacked. (I know this is not such a great photo area to have right outside the shark encounter where tons of kids can now be afraid they will be eaten.) We decided to have our photo taken so we would have a fun souvenir.

The photographer told us they would take two shots of us. One with me in the shark and one with Justin in the shark. How simple is that? Well it is not. The woman starts barking orders to Justin on how to pose; asking him to get into positions that his body just could not do. He whispered to me that he didn’t think he would be able to do it. Then the photographer explains to me how she wants me to let go and only hold my body weight with one hand and stretch out of the shark. Now I am in great pain. I could only hope that the picture would go fast but it doesn’t. She keeps yelling at us to scream louder and look my distressed. Finally, I just SCREAM in pain and she smiles and takes the picture.

Of course we are not free yet, we have another photo to do. Learning from our first experience, we make sure to pose in a easier way so we do not suffer and we get a great photo:

After the photo shoot was done, Justin reminded me that after all the America’s Next Top Model we watch we should had been pros. I am glad we took control during the second shoot. It made for a great photo and allowed the fun photo to be fun and not painful. I think the photographer may have missed her calling as a dominatrix.  :)

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Ellen does it again. You have to see this great response she had to Sally Kern. Ellen isn’t afraid to be herself, enjoy her life and speak her mind. This is what Living Life Out Loud is all about.

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This song always motivates me so much! I want to empower you before your weekend. Please take the time to listen to this powerful song…

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I wanted to share some great news with you! I have been asked to write a monthly article for PlanetOut and Gay.com. The articles will start in January so please check them out! I will make sure to post links to the articles here so you can support this great, new opportunity for me!

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A friend of mine was talking to me about a friendship she has. She has put so much effort into making the friendship work but it is just not going anywhere. There are always excuses about why the friend can not make it to events or parties or she says she is coming and doesn’t show up. My friend really wants to keep being friends but just had to say enough is enough.

She finally told the friend how she felt and left the ball in her court to take the next step to build a friendship.  She asked me if I thought this was wrong of her. I told her I think it was the best thing you can do. Why should you be working so hard to maintain a relationship when the other party obviously doesn’t want to? By ending this relationship, you allowing yourself to put my effort into your other healthy friendships and probably make even healthier friendships down the road.  

Think about your life and the friendships you keep that are unhealthy for you. Are they worth all the damage they cause on you and your other relationships? Free yourself and open yourself up to more healthy relationships. You deserve it.

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The holiday season is in full swing and I head to my friend’s Becky and Fred’s for a great party. While there Suzanne and I joked about the new pop culture term “cougar”. Cougar is an older woman who dates are is interested in younger men. This got to be thinking about how we label things in life and how that affects our outlook. We are quick to understand things so we add labels to them which may or may not be right. Either way this labeling ends up really affected how we feel about other people or even ourselves. A cougar, before we came up with the term, would be considered pathetic for going after younger men and not being married and in a stable relationship. Now, we have a different outlook. Older woman who chose not to settle for just anyone and isn’t afraid to go after what they want. It is all how we look at it.

It happened with being a housewife. Housewives were never seen as cool and a lot of people looked down on them. In Sex and the City, Charlotte quit her job to stay home when she married Trey and the girls had a hard time with it. It wasn’t until television shows like Desperate Housewives and Real Life Housewives of Orange County that we started think being a housewife was cool. It took us seeing a different perspective to change how we felt about it.

I remember my friend West and I going out all the time and was tired of all the skinny boys talking about 6 packs. How hot 6 packs were and how they spend hours working on theirs. One night, after another boring conversation with strangers about 6 packs, West said, “Why would you want a 6 pack, when you can have a keg?” I loved it. Again it was all about how you looked at it.

Think about all the labels that you give yourself or others give you and see how you can change them from negative to positive. If you can’t, then just do not accept them. You do not need them in your life!

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What could you be doing in your life right now if you just took the first step? We are so scared sometimes of what people would think or say. We also allow our self doubt or fear keep us from moving forward. So many excuses at times to keep us from taking that step because we are afraid we may fail.

I can think of hundred different time I had great opportunities to do something great but didn’t take the first step. I think about when I was 19 and never had the courage to talk to Glassboy (barback) at Southern. I remember the great trip to Paris my friend Robert invited me to go on and I let the fear of flying keep me from going. I remember how many times I had the chance to say something to stand up for someone but I didn’t and remained silent so they wouldn’t turn on me. I remember how many times I chose to be negative in a situation instead of see the positive side. I remember how many times I let relationships grow apart because I didn’t want to put the work into them.

So I made the choice to learn from all these memories and learn to take the first step. Once you get moving forward there is nothing to stop you from creating great things!

Think of all the times in your life you didn’t take the first step and NOW think of all the times you will take that first step and start living your life out loud!

Remember, the first step is the only scary one.

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