Thinks of you as competition                       Thinks of you as a partner in crime

Will steal your man if you’re not careful       Will steal your drink if you are not careful

Talks about the size of ass at work              Covers yours ass at work

Tells you it’s immature to do a drive-by       Rides shotgun when you want to do a drive-by

Dates your ex without a second thought      Hates your ex without a second thought

Doesn’t take responsibility for their shit      Doesn’t take any shit

Stabs you in the back                                    Tells the truth to your face

Steals your clothes                                        Borrows your clothes and returns them dry cleaned

Brags about their new iPhone                        Buys it with you so you can be phone buddies

Reads your journal and judges you                Reads your journal and applauds your life

Laughs at you                                                Laughs with you

Makes fun of your fears                                 Respects your fears

Criticizes                                                         Appreciates

Comes to your birthday to be seen                Takes you out just be with you on your special day

Always offers you advice                                Listens and supports you along the way

Never has meet your family                            Is part of your family

Ditches you for a hot date                              Invites you in for a three way

Comments on Facebook status                      Already knows about the status before you posted it

Complains they can never find love                Knows all about the love they get from you

Points out all your flaws                                 Loves you besides all of your flaws

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe!