August
26
I remember when I was first introduced to Facebook. I created an account and was confused by the whole system which was so different than MySpace which was my first social networking addiction. As time went on, I got use to the system and really enjoyed how you could interact with people.
My Facebook has grown with friends. I have reconnected with friends from years ago. I have made great friends with people I normally would have met and never been able to keep in contact with again. I also met many friends who I have never met in person but have created virtual friendships through the web including meeting a guy with the exact same name as me! My family has even joined Facebook and, even though, we live in the same time we have another way to keep in touch.
Lately, I have been wondering are these people on Facebook really your friends? I mean sure I keep in touch with quite a few people but many of them I never hear from. No comments, no wall posts, and no messages. I am responding to people’s statues and wishing them a Happy Birthday but again no response back. Sometimes I will get a question which I will respond to than never hear from them again. Not even a thank you.
I have great experiences with Facebook so I will never knock it. I just wonder how we can better connect with the people on our pages. Are they nervous to talk to us? Are we bothering them? Or do we need to reach out to them?
I think it really just comes down to friendships in general. It is not about the quantity of friends but the quality of friends. Cherish the relationships you do have and make sure to help them grow.
I don’t believe Facebook has killed real life friendships, I think it has allowed us to connect to people we may never have and allowed us to stay in touch ways we didn’t have before.
What are your thoughts?
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Brad
on 26 Aug 2009 at 2:15 pm #
I get extremely frustrated with Facebook, I send people messages, but if you don’t write on their wall you won’t get a reply!
Also I have not figured out how to STOP all the e-mails that come when you write on someone’s wall, with EVERYBODY who wants to add their 2¢ to the conversation. LOL
If anybody can tell me how to stop the e-mails you get when I comment on someone’s wall and they want to say something in addition. I don’t want an e-mail saying Jim Bob also commented on Michael’s wall. LOL
BUT I would enjoy getting a notification that Michael sent me a message or wrote on MY wall!
I guess I am not facebook savvy enough!
~HUGS~
-Brad
Michael
on 26 Aug 2009 at 2:41 pm #
Brad,
I agree with you! Sometimes it is can be too much when you reply to someone and then you have to be told every other time someone replies.
It still is a nice way to be in contact with so many people. Just little things we have to learn to change or deal with.
J
on 26 Aug 2009 at 2:52 pm #
Brad — there’s a way to disable those emails under your settings… notifications, I believe. You can choose what you get emails about and what you do not.
April
on 26 Aug 2009 at 3:25 pm #
I believe that some people you meet on facebook can become your real friends. Some people are just so sincere in adding people. Like they add because they’re interested and that they want to get in touch somehow. But people who keeps adding “friends” just for the sake of having so many friends and yet dont actually get connected (even if you do) are so annoying…
Robert
on 26 Aug 2009 at 4:44 pm #
Actually … I must say … I am 100% addicted ..I mean a fan of Facebook .. LOL
I have enjoyed reconnecting with old friends and it has eliminated the “Well you never called me either ” conversation, It makes me feel more connected to everyone since I can read what they are doing and not necessarily need call or see them to know what is happening with in their life . These social networks are truly amazing ..and I have met many amazing people and I believe have formed life lasting, honest , and real friendships online.
I have also had people I wish couldn’t find me …find me..LOL so it goes both ways …
Robert
David
on 26 Aug 2009 at 7:38 pm #
I’ve been on facebook for several months now and find being able to catch up with old friends nice. I may not be actively engaged in conversation on their wall, but I do get to see who is doing what. I also find that I don’t remember some of those friends from 20 years ago. I had one friend ask me about another and I had no idea who she was chatting about…scary. I can’t say that I’ve connected with any new friends on facebook, but then again I’m not really looking either. Must be the recluse in me. Overall I like facebook much better than myspace and will continue to use.
Regarding the people that don’t respond, they may just be busy or are not aware you are wanting a response. I’m like that….I’ll get an email or post and not respond because I don’t think the person is actually wanting a response. I would say that if you really want a response to end the email or post with something like “let me know” or “hope to hear from you soon” or something similar.
Christopher
on 26 Aug 2009 at 8:53 pm #
It’s funny that you mention this, b/c me an a colleague were discussing the number of friends one could have on Facebook. I currently have 58 and I still think that’s excess. I’ve been contemplating trimming off some fat, because some people don’t need to be in your “circle”. I think they should change them it from “Friends” to something a little less committing. Some people take that word to seriously, but who am I. Best of luck to ya.
Jared Hickman
on 27 Aug 2009 at 11:35 am #
I’m really hot and cold with Facebook. I enjoy seeing what people are up to and viewing their photos, etc. On the other hand, the people who post the random… “jack is sitting on the toilet”, or “jill is eating a peanut butter sandwich”, are silly (as you yourself commented on in the past).
I have one friend who has over 3000 friends. Seriously??? Can one have 3000 friends? Granted, he uses the application to market and sell himself (and I think boost his ego). But what percent of those 3000 people even acknowledge his postings? When you view his page, he usually has a comment stream of the same 5-10 people. So what are those other 2990 people doing? Ignoring him I suppose. If they are at all like me, they don’t have room in their lives for more clutter and distractions.
I suppose it’s the term “friend” that confuses me. Perhaps Facebook could have the option of “Family”, “Best Friends”, “Friends”, “Acquaintances”, “People I met one time”, and “Random person who I have never met but want to add to my list so that I can increase my friend count”.
Michael
on 27 Aug 2009 at 11:46 am #
Jared,
You are a riot! It is true though. Some people have so many friends it is crazy. I try to go through my list make sure I friends with people who keep in contact with and me connect with. People I really know.
A lot of people from reading this blog connect which is great but when I do not hear anything from them sometimes I have to let them go.
I think it is helps to declutter your life and it helps even more declutter your Facebook. Hmmmm….sounds like another blog entry in the making…
Seth
on 28 Aug 2009 at 5:53 pm #
I guess I’d have consider myself a Facebook veteran since I’ve been using it since 2004. Back then it was college students only and you had to email the Facebook team to add your school if it wasn’t on their list (which many were not at that time). Then, they opened it up to high school students, and finally everyone and their mother! But I digress, my 700+ Facebook friends are all people I met in real life first and then used Facebook as a way to keep in touch. (with the exception of the guy with my same name, he’s just so cool I had to add him!)
I say that Facebook friends are just like your friends in real life. You tend to go through phases where you lose touch with some, and occasionally catch up, but end up distanced from that person (or just the opposite) in the end. While others you just chat constantly with and can’t seem to not respond to their message the instant it pops up in your inbox. With those people that don’t respond within a day or two they just don’t care and that is how they show it.
Certainly not all Facebook friends are “real friends” but they are your social network. You can reach out when needed in an instant and see how quickly the cream rises to the top. Is there a need to “trim the fat” of those you don’t speak to often? I say no because it doesn’t hurt anything and you never know when you will reconnect with that person. Also, if you hate scrolling through your friend list to find someone, but you know their name, you can simply use the search bar for instant gratification.
GO FACEBOOK!
Glen
on 29 Aug 2009 at 1:25 am #
That is SO true.
I have ALOT of “friends” on facebook.. and many of them dont talk to you, they just added because i had a class with them once upon a time
Michael
on 29 Aug 2009 at 7:47 am #
Glen,
I believe people have the best intentions. As you said, they do know you but there really isn’t a reason to connect with you. Or at least they connected and then haven’t continued to grow the relationships.
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Joseph
on 10 Sep 2009 at 1:30 pm #
Facebook is great. Like so many people said before me, it seems that to some it is a competition “let’s see how many people I can get to add me as a friend or bust”…out of all my facebook friends I haven’t met just one. but I added him since he seemed genuinely interested…and of course, the term “friend” is pretty strong, but I think list of “acquaintances” would look a little awkward (this is one of my favorite words in English). Also, people don’t seem to grasp the meaning of “friend”. I can truly say that I have 6 friends (maximum) in the terms of they are there whenever I need them, during the good and the bad, the ones who laugh or cry with me, but are not afraid to slap me when the situation calls for that. Sure, I am also surrounded by a lot of people but that doesn’t make them my friends. More like “buddies” – and please note there is a fine line between “buddy” and “friend”. Out of these 6 friends, 4 are on facebook. And even though they are far in geographic terms (London and US) I know I can rely on them.
For me, facebook, myspace and other social networks are not a competition. It is nice to be updated with what’s happening in the world of others but like Jared said, when i read statuses like “….is so drunk he doesn’t know where it is” or others like that, I can’t help but roll my eyes.
The other day I added an acquaintance of a friend, but she kept posting so many videos, and surveys every day, it simply filled my news feed page. She was out after 4 days. I had no interest in seeing the latest Guano Apes video or what were you in a past life.
I draw the line in who I add and why!
So far Facebook rules
Mr. DXV
on 23 Nov 2009 at 9:02 pm #
People use Facebook for different reasons. Some like to use it as a network building tool, so they end up having hundreds of “friends”. And some like to use as sort of an enhanced email, so they only acquire about 100 or less friends. I am very exclusive in my use of Facebook, I only have 21 people on my list, and my profile is hidden; only people who are already on my list can actually search for me. 20 of the 21 people are people I have met in real life and are with whom I (with varying degrees) communicate with. People tend to write wacky or really personal things on my profile, so I only prefer to add people after we really get to know each other. I would really feel uncomfortable if hundreds of people were checking out my profile full of my friends’ wacky and personal wall posts.
The rules of friendship apply both to life offline and online. You can only truly have a handful of friends, the rest are your acquintences with varying degrees of closeness. So for the vast majority of people you meet in your life, don’t expect to hear much from them both offline and online. So don’t be frustrated if you hear no response from them on Facebook. Most people you meet care about you in varying degrees, for one reason or another they might end up not responding to you. It’s pointless to bother yourself with trying to figure just what keeps them from responding, so if you use Facebook like I do, and don’t hear anything from someone you added to your Facebook list, erase them. What’s the point of having someone on your list who doesn’t actually communicate with you? This has happened to me a couple of times. I added people to my list, got no feedback from them, waited a month or more, and then erased them.
Things can get a bit awkard when people you have just met want to be on your list. Having a hidden profile sure helps in deterring anyone you have just met from adding you. But sometimes they ask you to add them, so what I do is I either “forget” to add them, or add them but eventually erase them. It’s a bit dishonest I know, but it’s really awkard to say “No dude, I don’t want to add you to my list because we have just met and I don’t even know if you are the type of person I can trust.”
I enjoy using Facebook because it grants me the privacy I need while enabling me to easily keep track of what my friends are up to. So if any of you people are tired of having hundreds of useless “friends” on your list, do what I do, cut off all those from whom you get no feedback. Having less people means that you can actually properly pay attention to those who are your real friends. Trust me, you will get to enjoy Facebook more this way.