A friend of mine was talking to me about her boyfriend. She mentioned how, jokingly, he always asks if his penis is bigger than her other boyfriends she dated. She thinks it is so funny because she really doesn’t remember what theirs were like. As she said, “A penis is a penis.” She honestly only remembers what her current boyfriend’s penis looks like.This got me thinking about how in relationships you compare your current boyfriend with your last relationships.

Justin and I have been together for almost 3 years. He will ask me how he “measures up” to my past relationships. He wants to know do we have more fun, do we laugh more, do we travel more, were they nicer, were they more affectionate, were they smarter, etc.

Of course it is Justin just wanting to learn more about my past but that is exactly what it is. The past. Regardless of how they were, it is not worth being compared to because it is not competition; it is no longer even an option. Those relationships ended for a reason and I am now in my current relationship. I have to see my current relationship as is and base its success on my own personal happiness and nothing more.

It is hard to live in the present and take things for what they are but the present is truly where life is lived. We learn from our past by not revisiting it but simply from the lessons that are already in our head helping guide us along the way.

So next time your current relationship partner asks you are they bigger? You just smile and say, “Of course, in more ways then you will ever know.”