May
25
When I was younger, I always had tons of friends around me. I was always doing so many different events, parties etc. I was always on the go and keeping myself busy. Busy from what, was something I needed to think about.
I felt so alone during those times and did not know why. I was always with people and always doing things but I always felt alone. I thought I was crazy than I realized…I was alone.
I was alone because I had surrounded myself with people who I called “friends” but were not. Sure we hung out, shared laughs but we only knew each other on the surface. It was all social and not real friendship. We were party friends. When the times were good, you were part of the gang. When things we not going good, you were left behind.
No one cared about my dreams, my goals, my fears, my true thoughts. They just wanted to have a good time. When I was the life of the party, I was adored. Nothing wrong with that but all relationships need a balance.
I had to first start with myself. You see I was never really alone because I had me. The problem was I didn’t know who “me” was. I was so use to fitting in that I did not know who I really was. I had to take the time to listen to myself. To truly learn who I was. The more and more I did this, the less and less I felt alone.
Next I learned to be a better friend. I learned what I could give to people instead of take from them. This allowed me to decide the type of friend I was and who I would be friends with. As time went on, I also learned who my real friends were.
I know tons of people and I would refer to them all as friends but I only have a few TRUE friends who are there through it all. They are there because we care about each other and support each other through the good and the bad times.
Life is not like a TV show. Life is real and simple. You are never alone because you have yourself and if you are lucky, some great people to share yourself with.
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Etsuko
on 25 May 2009 at 2:51 pm #
Michael,
I wholeheartedly agree with you. My husband and I had a discussion about this last night. Sometimes I forget that I have to be the biggest supporter of me before I ask others to be. This weekend was one of those times, I made a mistake and as a result I might have caused some people pain. I beat myself up for making that mistake. Through talking to him last night, I realized that I had low acceptance of myself and that I looked others to validate my actions. I lacked self-reliance there. Thank you for your post.
jared
on 25 May 2009 at 4:03 pm #
love it. it’s the most basic of truths yet the one most neglected. thanks michael
Kevin Phipps
on 01 Jun 2009 at 3:26 pm #
Michael: I completely agree. I just signed up for your subscription today and already the first topic I viewed I completely can validate. I ended a 16 year LTR 7 months ago, and I have been lost. Completely lost in a crowd of people. 2009 is the year for me to rediscover myself, and I have been on this search to “fill the gap”!!! I have to fill the gap with me first before I can allow someone else in my life. I need to know who I am before I can open my heart up to someone again. Now that is not my first priority right now, but I have finally figured it out. It’s all about me now, and learning who I am, and what I can contribute to other people…not what they can contribute to me. Thanks for the great post, I look forward to many more.
Michael
on 01 Jun 2009 at 3:45 pm #
Kevin,
Welcome to the blog! I am so glad you are enjoying it and thank you for sharing your personal experience with me. It is always to know what other’s think about these topics. I am glad to see it makes a difference.