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It is that time of the year!! The dreaded work gift exchange where you select a name of someone you do not know well or like and have to buy them a gift and then receive your gift in front of others and smile and drink cocoa.

I at least enjoyed the cocoa.

I never liked work holiday gift exchanges and I would do anything not to deal with them. Sometimes though, the situations would end up being a nightmare. Like this one time…

I was a supervisor in a department where I did not enjoy the gift exchanges. The director and the manager of the department decided we would, again, do a gift exchange with everyone and leadership (director, manager and 2 supervisors) would need to play to be role models for the rest. It was also decided that leadership would NOT exchange private gifts. I liked this idea since I didn’t really like them and I didn’t want added stress to buying gifts.

Of course a few days later the director pulled the other supervisor and myself into her office for an “important” meeting. The meeting was to show us this HUGE angel picture she had bought the manager for the holidays. She then told us how she knew we were not supposed to buy private gifts but she works so hard, she is so nice and we can not let the holidays pass without showing how much we appreciate her and enjoy her.

This was the set up that if we felt this way about the director we would be buying her a gift too. The message was clear! She wanted private holiday gifts from us. This was not a surprise from her behavior the year before or the year before that.

She then added she is telling the manager it is from all of us but we did not have to donate towards it, even though it was expensive. But any money would help. 30 each would make it even.

I left knowing I had to donate to this gift and NOW buy something for the director. I do not like these games.

I grabbed Becky and we headed to Wal Mart which was close to work. I wanted something cheap to give the director as I did not care for her much and I did not care to be pressured to by a gift with only days until the event. I could not believe she was pulling this guilt trip and I was just over all the drama.

Becky helped me pick out a bath set which was simple and enough for the occasion. As we headed to check out we turned the corner where there was TONS of figurines. This was when I realized if I bought a figurine, she would be forced to place it in her office. So I wanted something UGLY. Ugly because this is how I felt about having to purchase this guilt gift. Ugly because that was the best way to describe her actions. Ugly because that was what this how situation turned into.

I settled on a figurine of two dogs running into a river with one catching a dead duck in it’s mouth. This was the gift. I couldn’t understand why someone would want a figurine of a dog with a dead duck in it’s mouth but it was the perfect gift for my needs. Becky and I couldn’t stop laughing as we looked at it.

When we returned, I dragged Becky into the office with me and gave the director the gift. She pretended to love it and I told her it was from both of us! (I pulled Becky into the guilt!) I mentioned how nice it would look on her bookcase where she placed it and left it there until she left the company years later.

Since this experience, I have never participated in gift exchanges again. I hate the pressure and I hate the awkwardness. I have taken the stance that I am saving us both the trouble. You do not have to buy for me and I won’t buy for you. There is enough stress through the holidays. Why add on more?

So when it comes to work gift exchanges, my advise is to just say NO! You could end up with a pot holder, scented candle, or a dog figurine. At least you would know the dog figurine was from me.

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Don’t you love the view? This is the view from the house I love. The house which I nicknamed the Lake House.

The Lake House was a house which was bought by a flipper for a low cost and was redone and placed backed on the market. The house was wonderful. It needed some simple bathroom updates but the house was AMAZING.

Justin and I happened upon it one day as they were having an open house. I saw the price and right away closed my mind to the house. It was overpriced and this was not the market to pay that much for a house.

Justin loved the house.

A few weeks later, My family got together for lunch and I told them about the house. I invited them to come over to see it as they hold a open house each weekend. My family toured the house and fell in love. This was the event which opened my eyes.

I started realizing how beautiful it was. How it was a bigger than what I currently have but at the same time wasn’t too much. I started planning my life there. The colors I would paint. The furniture I would buy.

But, I waited for the cost to fall.

Each month the house would reduce 5K and I would wait…

Finally it was posted at a price which I felt was fair. They hosted an open house and Justin and I drove by but didn’t go in. We decided to wait for next weekend.

I was getting excited and finally called my realtor to get a tour since they didn’t host an open house this weekend. That was when I found out the house had received a contract.

The house would no longer be available for me. It crushed me.

I wonder did I just wait to long? Did I doubt myself too much? Did I miss out on my dream house?

Or did it save me from making a mistake? Is there another place for me? Or is there another opportunity I need to seek over this house?

Who knows now. All I can do is learn from this experience.

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I fucked up. Well, I am literally fucked which lead to my fuck up.

He was hot, handsome, tanned with a great sense of humor. I love a guy who can make me laugh. I met him at a friends party and never expected to hit it off with someone. It is funny how it just happens that way. I didn’t even realize that the party was clearing out and I had spend the whole time, sitting in a corner talking with him.

He smiled his 1000 watt smile and reached his hand out to grab mine to lead me out of the party. Such a gentleman. We laughed more about a story he had told me early as we rode down the elevator where he invited me over to his place for cheesecake.

I knew my cheesecake invite was code for sex but I couldn’t turn down seeing him naked and I was hoping there would be actually cheesecake as well.

We arrived at his place and it was amazing. Decorated very modern, slick and in black, white and grays. It was flawless and he lead me into his kitchen where (yes he did have it!) he pulled out the cheesecake and we sat around his counter forking out our pieces.

I do not even remember how we made it into the bedroom or how my clothes ended up on the floor. All I know it was fun, it was hot and it was fast. Everything was moving so quickly. It was then, in a moment of clarity, I realized we were not practicing safer sex. I could feel the blood drain from my head and in a panic I went to say something but it was over.

I wanted to throw up. I couldn’t believe what had happened. What was I thinking? I am always prepared. I am always safe. This was not me.

I remember quickly grabbing my clothes and getting dressed. I wanted to leave as soon as I could. He asked me, “Why I was in a hurry and asked me to stay.” I told him I needed to go and before I left, I thought I should ask if he was negative. I couldn’t. I was embarrassed and I just left.

I took a LONG hot shower to wash the shame and guilt off of me but it didn’t work. I felt lost.

I decided to read up on my risks which lead me to Web MD where I read up on the symptoms of HIV infection. This was my second mistake in this story…

Within days, I got a sore throat. My neck hurt which I thought was because of swollen lymph nodes. I poked and checked them on the hour. I took my temperature at least 8 times a day and panicked when I would see 99.1. My stomach was upset and I started with headaches. I knew a rash was around the corner.

I called my friend and confessed what had happened. He laughed at me and told me to relax. Relax? How could I relax!!! He said this common to have the symptoms because of fear. I needed to get tested to be sure. That was the only way.

I knew he was right and was ready to hang up and call my doctor when my friend said, “Remember, you have to wait 90 days to get a clear result. That is the window period.”

90 days!! Are you kidding me? One charming guy, one dreamy night and very short sex ends with me in panic, fear, sweating and waiting 90 days.

I am not a patient person. I was so scared and frightened. I made promise to myself, God, Buddha, anyone who would listen. I didn’t know what to do. I had to realize there was nothing to do. I had a choice to make that night and I didn’t make it then. It happens, yes but this is where I am now. I had the experience, I was unsafe and now I wait.

When 90 days hit, I ran to get tested. I walked in and the guy greeted me with a smile. I told him I was here for an HIV test and he said, “Good for you!” Good for me? Seriously, if I had just thought first, I wouldn’t be in this situation.

He noticed my puzzled look and said, “Good for you wanting to know your status. Rather you are safe or unsafe. Single or in a relationship. You should also take your health first. Knowing your status really can make the difference in your health. I wish more people didn’t assume and took time to be tested regularly.”

I said down and waited for my turn. I thought how I always was good to be tested on a regularly basis. Of course those times, I didn’t have anything to worry about. Or did I? Sure I had always practice safer sex but there are still risks. I guess it was always silly to assume but better to get tested to know.

A woman came out and walked me to the room. Quick finger prick and then a series of question on my risk factors. She then told me to have a sit in the lobby and she will get me with my results. She said it would take around 20 minutes.

I sat there and waited. Waited and Waited. Every time a door opened, I jumped. Here I was. Scared again all over this one choice that one night 90 days ago.

When she started down the hall to get me and walked me back, my heart was racing. She sat me down and handed me information on safer sex, gave me a huge bag of condoms and squeezed my hand.

“Negative. Your test shows you are HIV negative.”

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