If you didn’t worry about what others thought of you, what would you do?

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Have you ever taken a good look in the mirror? I know you have looked to see if there was something in your teeth. I know you have given yourself a quick glance to see if you were wrinkled. But, have you really taken a good look at yourself? You know when you get out of the shower, buck naked and pass by the mirror. Do you stop and look?

It really isn’t about looking that I wondering it about. I really am curious about what do you say? What do you see?

Take moment one day to look at yourself in the mirror and see what thoughts, even judgements, come up for you. What is it that you say to yourself when you see yourself in the mirror?

Would you say those same things to someone you love? Someone who meant the world to you and you could never do without? Someone who holds your past, present and future in their hands?

You know that someone is YOU. Why would we say some of the things we say to ourselves knowing how important we are?

Grab some sticky notes. Write down 5 things you do want to say to yourself. 5 positive things that are true about you. Pace them on the mirror.

Now each time you pass by, I want you to repeat those 5 things to yourself. Nothing more and nothing less.

Let me know what happens in time as you repeat this….

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That is not the best way to start a conversation.

When I hear this phrase it sets me up. Almost the moment the words leave the person’s mouth, I can feel my face go flush. I start to get a ringing in my ears and I fear the worse. Most of the time the but is followed with something that really isn’t that bad. I think maybe people say that first to help lessen the blow.

My first thoughts are wondering why would someone do something they know would make me mad in the first place. If you care enjoy to tell me about it now means you want me to know. It also means you knew you were doing something that would hurt me. I wonder if you just thought about what you were doing first and maybe talked to me, it wouldn’t be so bad. Or maybe if you just knew it would be something that would risk me being mad, you would skip it.

My second thoughts came to the fact that someone thinks of me as a person who gets mad. Makes me wonder if I am too judgmental on people’s actions. Maybe it is not all actions but certain ones people know that seem to upset me most. Maybe there is something about me I need to see in this. To notice which people say this to me and about what topics. Maybe I need to build a relationship or more trust and love to reduce the need for secrets or judgements.

In the end, I realize it probably has to be about me but…

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No it is not my birthday. That is in October.

This month is a lot of people’s birthdays in my life.

Justin, Nick, My Mom, Eric, Renata, Chris. (I hope I didn’t forget anyone)

All celebrating birthdays. Some people dread having a birthday. I love it!

I think people dread birthdays because it makes them feel full of regret. We look back and realize what we didn’t do that we said we would. How life is still the same. That our dreams are not any closer to reality.

Or maybe it is the opportunity to realize it is the time for you to change all that. That you learn from what has happened in the past year and promise to only make this year better.

I think sometimes we overwhelm ourselves with judgement instead of realizing that if only it gets better each year we are on the right path.

Remember:

“And in the end, it’s not the years in the life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln

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Quote from Lion King:

Simba: I know what I have to do. But going back will mean facing my past. I’ve been running from it for so long.
[Rafiki hits Simba on the head with his stick]
Simba: Ow! Jeez, what was that for?
Rafiki: It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past.
[laughs]
Simba: Yeah, but it still hurts.
Rafiki: Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or… learn from it.
[swings his stick at Simba again who ducks out of the way]
Rafiki: Ha. You See? So what are you going to do?

I was thinking lately about events in my past. I think about how I could have avoided them and maybe not had to experience them in the first place. It is easy for me to daydream about the past and get lost in old memories and think about the would’ve, could’ve and should’ve of life.

There is nothing I can do about the past. I can not change it. PLUS, without those experiences, good and bad, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

The past doesn’t haunt me. It reminds me of where I have been, what I have experiences and what I have learned. It is better I learn from the past than be doomed to repeat it later in life until I finally learn the lesson.

I would love to have the perfect life. One that is only filled with sunshine and roses but what would I learn. Sometimes in life I am going to fall. It just depends on how fast I am able to pick myself back up that will make the difference.

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Yesterday was Justin’s birthday so we headed to Blizzard Beach in Orlando. Blizzard Beach is a giant water park and we planned to spend our day relaxing, soaking up the sun and escaping the heat.

While I was laying in the lazy river, I thought about the last 2 times I had been to the park.

When I was 16:

Blizzard Beach wasn’t open that long before I went the first time. It was an overcast day but it never seemed to rain. It kept the park empty which made it easy for us to be able to ride any ride as many times as we wanted.

I went with my friend Jodi and her fiancee Joey. It was Jodi’s gift to Joey for his birthday. We were so excited when we got there we raced up the mountain to ride the first ride. We learned two things quickly, there were a lot of stairs and you had to pick up your raft for the ride down below before heading up.

Since we had already climbed up there, we only had two options to get down. We could either walk all the stairs again or ride one of the two body slides down. The one body slide is a straight drop and the other is just as scary but you it isn’t a straight drop, more like 3 hills you slide over.

Joey jumped down the slide first and gave us the thumbs up. Jodi went next. As she got up, Joey ran to her, said something and they both looked at me with a thumbs up. I pushed off and down I went.

It was so scary, it hurt my back and I thought I was going to fall out of the slide. I couldn’t wait to hit the bottom which, luckily because of how fast I was going, it didn’t take long. Jodi told me when I hit the bottom how scary it was but Joey reminded her that she had to look tough because it was my only way down. I knew I would never do it again but I lived and we went on with our days.

I rode everything there and had a wonderful time. Never once felt scared or nervous to be on any ride. Maybe because I had already down the worse one or maybe because I didn’t allow fear to be a part of my life.

When I was 18:

I returned to the park when I was 18. 2 of my friends and I had planned this great adventure. Stacey was at my house earlier and we headed out to grab Craig. When we got to Craig’s house, he didn’t answer the door. We waited for 20 minutes but he never came. Stacey and I went on our own.

We had a great time and again, I rode almost everything. We laughed, eat and got soaked. It was a wonderful time.

I remember that I kept thinking about Craig. Wondering why he ditched us? I was worried about out friendship and what would happen from this event.

Today:

I am at Blizzard Beach with my BF of almost 5 years celebrating his birthday. I do not ride most of the rides anymore because they seem to go to fast for me now or I just think they do. When I use to run like crazy all over the place to get everything done, I know enjoy sitting in the lazy river and just being away form my cell phone and getting some sun.

I remember those times like they were yesterday but at the same time they seem so far away. I do not even know that boy back then as he is now a man. My life has changed so much and it is amazing to see how you change over the years. Some for the good and maybe some for the bad.

In the end, we are all just moving along life’s lazy river in our own personal journeys.

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I took my dad out for a little date. We planned to go see Salt and have lunch. I took him first to get a Cinnabon as a morning treat. The place was empty so we were able to walk right in and my dad chose to have a pecan cinnabon. They made it fresh for him as well as fresh coffee.

We sat down at a small table and began to devour our sticky goodness. I was more than half way through before I came up for air. I noticed I was tearing through mine but my dad had barely started on his.

I wondered, “Did he not like it?” “Was it not what he liked?” “Maybe I shouldn’t asked before taking him as a surprise?”

I noticed he would pick up his fork and knife, try to cut his roll, stop and put the fork and knife down and hold his hand under the table. He did this twice before I realized what was going on.

His hands hurt him from arthritis. It is hard for him to cut his food nonetheless with a cheap, bending, plastic fork and knife. I realized he would just sit there and never eat it because he wasn’t able to cut it and he didn’t want to ask for help.

I asked him if I could cut it for him and he said yes right away. I chopped it up and he finished the pecan roll before we headed into the movie.

It is hard when your hands do not work like they use to. It is harder to have to admit to yourself and others you need help. You do not want to be a bother. You do not want to feel old. You do not want to remind yourself you are unable to do a simple task you once did effortless. I am sure you wouldn’t want to let your baby son, who you took amazing care of, to now have to take care of you.

Getting older is the easy part, right? You really do not have a choice. It just comes with time. I think the hardest part to all of us through out life, no matter what age we are, is to ask for help.

I am no longer afraid to ask for help after this moment because I knew how I felt sitting there. I know there are tons of people, like me on that day, just waiting to help you if you ask or not. That is what love is all about.

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Yes it is official! I finally completed my first book and it has been published and is now available for everyone!

I have been wanting to do this for quite sometime and many of you will remember my journey with this book but it is out and I am very proud of it!

What is the book about? Well as the book cover says…

This book is not for everyone.

This is not a how to book which is going to give you step by step instructions on how to find your perfect authentic self. This book is about a journey. My journey. The best way to show you how to discover your authentic self is by sharing my reflections, my stories, my experiences, my activities and my tips I used along the way to create the person I wanted to be. I want you to enjoy what I have to share, I want you to laugh, I want you to feel good and I want you to think about what is next for you. This book wasn’t written for everybody. It was written for you. It was written to allow you to enjoy my story to better allow you to create your own.

So how can you support the book?

1. Grab yourself a copy! If you love the blog, you will love the book even more! You can purchase a copy by clicking here. You can also find in on Amazon.com. It will be in local bookstores (Barnes and Noble, Borders, Etc) within the next 4 weeks.
2. Spread the word! Share the link on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and/or MySpace. Tell your friends, tell your enemies, tell your family. Just help to spread the word about the book being out. Plus I will be doing interviews, any contacts? Send them my way!
3. Review the Book! Take time to write a 5 star review on Amazon.com. (You do not have to buy your copy there, to review it there.) Share with others how much you enjoy it so Amazon shoppers will take a look.

Thank you all for your support with my first book! I can not wait to hear what you think about it!

Happy Reading!

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