I only have weeks before my first book is published. It has been a long journey but I am so excited to finally be able to release it.

One thing they told me in the very beginning was the details would hold me back. The faster I wanted to get it published, the less worry about details I would need.

Well, I am not a details person so I knew this would not be a problem for me. Well…I thought.

As time went on, I realized it took me a week, Yes one week, to pick out the font the book would be printed in. This was not a good a sign. You see the details are not what I am best with but I would allow them to hold me back. I am sure my editor was being nice when he said the details would hold me back. What it meant to say was, “If I was too picky, this would take FOREVER!”

I had to learn to let go. To realize that this small details I stressed about were only the details. I needed to trust myself, my choices and allow the process to move forward. The goal was to be complete and not perfect. There wouldn’t be a perfect book.

I noticed I started to do this with the relaunch of my website coming soon. I was working so hard on the details that I was really holding myself back. I finally was able, with the help of a friend, to bring someone into the loop who is amazing and going to help me out with the site.

I think it is important to remember that though the details are important, you need to decide which are important which are just minor details. The biggest obstacle to getting what you want is usually you.

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You are a piece of the puzzle.

As we know, a puzzle makes up a beautiful picture when complete. But only when it is complete can we enjoy it’s beauty.

You fit into this puzzle in your special way. Maybe you are the border, maybe you are in the middle or maybe you are at the very top. But you have a place.

You want to fit in so bad that sometimes you will try to jam yourself into other places of the puzzle. You do not want to be different. You want to fit in and complete the picture.

You try so hard to fit. You do all you can to make yourself connect but it doesn’t seem to work. You start to wish you weren’t different and that parts of you were different so you would fit better.

Other pieces of the puzzle know how much you want to fit in. They tell you how to fit in. They tell you where you should go. You try and try but still not able to do it. It just doesn’t feel right.

Finally you embrace you are different. You are different because it takes your special piece to complete this puzzle. All the pieces are so different but that is what makes a puzzle great. Even though they all are so different, they each find their own spot to fit in.

The right spot for them.

You struggle to fit in to many places that are not right for you. It frustrates you and keeps you from being free. Finally, when you realize it is a journey you create for yourself, you are able to embrace who you and all of the sudden, you find your spot.

Your spot is just being yourself!

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Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford

Justin and I play Super Mario Brothers together. It is a challenge trying to get through the game with 2 people on the screen.

I have never been good with jumping on moving platforms. The ones where they move and you have to jump to another moving one in time before the other one falls.

I do not know what it is but it freaks me. Maybe because I am scared of falling or the timing is too much stress for me but I can’t do it.

Justin knows this because when ever we get to one of these levels, I tell him I can’t do it and he has to try by himself.

We were playing one level like this and Justin was getting more and more frustrated with not being able to complete the level. Finally he quits and takes a break.

While I am sitting there, I think I can do it and give it a try. With my one try I complete the level.

Was it because I saw him do it hundred times before me? Was it because I was more patient? Was it because I believe I could do it?

When we believe we can’t do something we already know the result we are going to get. No matter what happens, it won’t work out. We believe we can’t so we just won’t be able to.

But when you believe you can, no matter how many times you try, you will figure a way to make it happen.

Believing in yourself takes a lot of work but it pays off in the end. I wonder how many things you tell yourself right now that you can’t do, that you can if you only believed.

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Justin loves to make promises to me. He tells me if we do something, or he gets something that this will happen.

After I agree and he receives what he wanted, the circumstances change. Mostly because he doesn’t always think everything through. But, it changes and he can not follow through on his promise.

It hurts me.

It hurts me because he made a promise to me and not fulfilling it now makes it a lie. A lie to get what you want. I would prefer he just didn’t make the promises in the first place so I wouldn’t be hurt and disappointed.

When he makes a promise and doesn’t follow through, it makes me not want to believe him next time. It breaks down the trust I have for him.

Of course he is not the only person who doesn’t follow through on their promises.

I do the same.

I promise myself I will do something next week but then I blow it off. I promise myself I will stick to my exercise routine, but I don’t. I promise myself I will stop eating chips and nacho cheese and then I break down and buy it. Once….twice….OK it was three times in one week.

This breaks down the trust I have in myself. This reduces the amount of times I believe in myself. Even though they maybe big, small or in-between, it doesn’t matter. Every one of these breaks the trust down about ourselves.

It hurts our self esteem.

It is better to be honest and upfront. It is better not to make a promise that you are not willing to keep. It is better for us to know, when we make a promise it is because we mean and without a doubt we will make it happen.

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Life is full of choices.

Do you go out with him? Do you stay unhappy? Do you find a new job? Do you keep allowing people to treat you a certain way? Do you have another piece of cake?

Choices.

I really believe when we are in our darkest moments it is because we forget we always have a choice. Even though we might not like it, we still have a choice.

What choice could you make right now that could change your life for the better?

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When I get stressed I start running in my head. I start allowing my thoughts to run like crazy and I find myself replaying conversations, practicing new conversations and figuring out the best way to move forward.

I can find myself taken over by something so small that really will never matter in 5 years but at this exact moment I am so taken by it, it can be all that I see. I am not able to move myself away from it and it replays over and over again.

What does this do for me? It gives me a sense of control. When life is not going my way, I can take control back by playing it over and over again so I can make sure I am ready for when it happens next time.

The sad part is that next time never comes. Why? Because this is life and moments come and go. You can not control life, you can only live it. Planning over and over again in my head about one moment that has past or will occur soon doesn’t place me at the best spot. It holds me back.

It holds me back because I am spending all my time trying to figure out the end. I am trying to pick the perfect response or answer but in reality, I won’t know until it happens.

Yes I can learn from my mistakes. Yes I can reflect on my experience but running it over and over in my head and stressing myself out is not always the best thing to do.

Sometimes you have to let go and just believe in the best. Believe you will handle it the best you can and things will work out in the end, one way or another.

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