If I asked you what did you not like about yourself, you could generate a huge list and I am sure it would come fast to your mind.

Most people start with the physical. We all seem to weigh too much or weigh too little. We could be more toned, less wrinkled, less hairy, and more polished. We can’t stand our long toes, our small ears, our reduced hairline and even the small freckle on our left hand.

Then you might list the items you hate in the inside. You do not like how insecure you are, how you get scared, how you self doubt, how you are not smart enough, fast enough, or loved enough.

If I asked if you were beautiful, you would say no. Most people do not believe they are beautiful.

That is a shame because you are. You are more beautiful than you know.

It is time to stop looking in the mirror and seeing ugly and start seeing beautiful. You know what you want to work on and that is fine. Work on it but do not keep seeing the flaws.

For now on, I want you to see what makes you beautiful. I want you to see what is perfect as is. I want you to stop looking on the ways to increase your beauty and instead focus on what is already there and how you will show it to the world.

There is enough ugly in this world already. It is time for you to shine your beauty.

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Trust is the foundation for all relationships. If you do not have trust, your relationship will not last.

When dating someone or being in a relationship with someone, you want to be able to trust them. I have been in a relationship where I didn’t trust them and it was a lot of work. I was always worried or wondering if what they said was true or not. I would consistently listen to them speak and hear gaps and holes in their stories that didn’t make sense.

Lack of trust led me to check on them, question them and even look up their Internet history. It became too much. I was tired of having to watch my back and wonder if they were true or not.

When I let that relationship, it was great to be in one where there is trust. Life is so easy and simple. I know what he says he means. I know I can trust him where he goes and what he does. Better yet, he can trust me as well.

We can depend on each other which makes the relationship solid. How can you be partners in life, if you are not on equal ground?

Trust is the foundation of ALL relationships, even the one with yourself. You have to be able to trust yourself. Trust your own intuition and feelings.

Self doubt is a huge part of not trusting ourselves. We question ourselves over and over again about a choice we made, are thinking of making, or something we want to do. We do not trust ourselves so we dig into ourselves and thoughts to see what we missed or how we can make it stop.

Trusting yourself requires you to build that relationships with yourself. Giving yourself the permission to make mistakes and to get hurt knowing next time will always better.

Trust really allows yourself to be free in any relationship. We take it for guaranteed until we have lost it.

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I want to scream this at people sometimes. I am tired of listening to people complain. I am tired of listening to others put people down. I am tired of all the negative comments that are fed to us each day.

SHUT UP!

I do not like her, I do not like him, I hate this, I hate that, BLAH BLAH BLAH.

When you are talking in negatives you are only telling people what you do not like. You are telling them that when you do not like something, you are going to tell others about it.

What is funny is no one knows what you do like because you haven’t told us that.

Stop the negative comments. Start with the positive.

I am not asking you to be a ray of sunshine. I am asking you to tell people what you do like, what makes you happy and what you are looking for. You will be surprised that life will get better simply because people will know what you want.

If you don’t have something something nice to say, SHUT UP!

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Are you ready?

I believe this is one of the biggest reasons we do not act on our dreams and live the lives we want. We are not ready.

Currently I am working on my first book. Many of you know I have been talking about it for a LONG time. I want to create a book. I have tons of ideas and thoughts but, there still hasn’t been a book.

I wasn’t ready.

I wasn’t really ready for the work it would take. I didn’t realize it would take time to plan it out, figure out the details and then market it.

I wasn’t ready for the self doubt and questioning to come in. How I would wonder was this right or working. How I would ask for everyone’s advice and input. How I would spend way too much time editing each entry in the book.

It wasn’t the right time and I wasn’t ready to push myself. I wasn’t ready to say, “Michael, SHUT UP and just write!”

I was waiting and hoping by some magical way I would wake up and be ready to go. It doesn’t work that way.

I finally deleted all copies of my book and started from the beginning. The book is flying through and I am looking to launch in June! Can you believe it?

What happened? I was ready!

I was ready to focus on the task and trust myself. I was ready to make it happen. I was ready to put the time in, to achieve my goal and to celebrate the win.

I was ready to move into action.

Now you tell me, are you ready? Are you ready to achieve your dreams? Are you ready to make bold steps? Are you ready to put yourself first?

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Queer is defined as:

differing in some odd way from what is usual or normal

What is normal? Who decides this?

Now if we were normal, wouldn’t we all be a like? To be normal would mean we would all have to meet the same standards to be part of this group. We would all have to be simple copies of each other and never deviate from this place or, should we same, norm.

Since, in the real world we all live in, we are not all the same that would make us all queer. We all differ from what other’s would seem as normal. That is what other’s deem normal based on what they do, believe or judge.

When you think about it, if we are all queer because we do not fit into being normal, wouldn’t being queer set up as the new normal?

The point of all of this is simple…

YOU ARE NORMAL!

When you start from the place where you realize you are normal, it is so much easier to embrace what makes you different. Bring who you are is normal. There isn’t a perfect way to be, or act or love. There is only the way you do it and that is your normal.

Accept you are normal and realize that no one else has the right to tell you otherwise. You set what normal is for you and you are perfect at it.

Be yourself that is your normal.

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What do you currently want to change in your life?

What will your life be like when you make this change?

What is keeping you from making this change now?

How do you overcome what has you not moving forward?

When are you going to start creating this change?

Change doesn’t happen overnight, how will you keep yourself progressing?

Who can help you in your change or offer you support and/or resources?

What is the first step you can take to get you where you want to be?

Do you know the answers to these questions?

Maybe it is time you do…

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I want you to be open.

It is always funny to me to see people who say they are open minded but will argue with people who are closed minded to be open. If you are truly open minded, wouldn’t you just accept closed minded people as they are?

We judge.

Being open means you are releasing your own judgments on other people and allowing them to live their lives as you are busy enough living yours.

When you judge someone, it really isn’t about them but more about you. There is a lesson in this. A lesson we can learn when we judge someone.

Example:

Gay men do this to each other all the time. It can be about how gay someone is. (Like there are levels of being gay.)

I have heard gay guys say that someone is too gay. I do not understand how you can be too gay or not enough gay. You either are gay or not.

When someone is too gay, you are judging how they act. You are also comparing yourself to them saying you are not as gay as them. You are acknowledging yourself for not being like them. Why?

Saying someone is too gay really isn’t about them being too gay but about how you feel about it. It is all about you. What can you learn from this?

Now, I am not saying you won’t judge people. In a perfect world we would all walk around, kiss and hug and love each other but this is not reality. We do judge.  The point is to catch yourself when you are and see what lesson you can learn about yourself.

Being open is learning to focus more on you and your life and allowing others to simply live theirs any way they want.

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I have been trying to learn to juggle for awhile now. Of course the key word here is “trying” instead of just doing.

Why do I want to learn to juggle? I think it is cool and thought why not. Will it help me in my career? Nope. Will it impress my friends and family? Doubt it. Then why do it? It is something new.

It is so easy for us to get stuck in our lives. Doing the same routines, some activities and living the same days over and over again.  If you want life to always be the same, then stay on this path.

If you want something more, you have to be willing to do new things.

Doing something new helps you to grow. Helps you to stay fresh. Helps you to keep learning.

What is something new you could add in your life?

I promise to get back to learning how to juggle and I will post an update on my progress after letter Z. This way it will hold me accountable to my new thing.

How are you going to hold yourself accountable?

I like to do one new thing a week. This doesn’t means I learn to juggle each week. I go to a new restaurant. Attend a new event. Play a new game.

It is about experiencing something you haven’t before.

Have fun with it and share your results with me. I love to hear a good story.

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My TGI Fridays closed. Yes I call it my Fridays because it was a staple in my life for most of my 20′s. Sure Orlando has tons of other Fridays but this one shared most of my adventures as well as misadventures.

Here are some of the highlights of my times there:

This was the Fridays where I wore my platform shoes to for the first time. I know I shouldn’t have jumped into this trend but I did like most club going kids did.

There I was with West enjoying our dinner when it started to pour and storm. It was late at night and they would be closing soon so we headed out. Luckily there was a break in the downpour and we split for our cars. West was parked up front and I was on the side three rows back.

Just as I began my run, I fell, strained my ankle on my damn platform shoes and the rain poured back down. I walked with a limp back to my car, throbbing ankle, soaked and deflated ego.

This was where I started my crushes. I tend to create crushes on people. Not real crushes as I really am not interested. It just becomes a silly game to play and I give them a nickname ending with lover. This is where it all began with My Fridays Lover.

He was tall, dark hair, tanned, built, kind of had that bad boy look and wore a giant Dr Seuss like hat which was red and black stripped. He would later leave serving and become a bartender. Never did get his name.

This was also the standard date place for me. So many of my dating adventures took place here:

This is where at 18 I met my first blind date from the phone dating service, Megaphone. Yes, this was before Internet dating took off.

This is where I had a date with a guy who turned out to be a porn star.

One date was so bad here that at one point, I asked him to stop being so mean to the server, the people next to us and myself. Of course I never called him after this date. 5 years later he asked me out again and told me how he changed and I met him at the same Fridays to find out, he was still the same.

This is the Fridays where a guy spent our whole date on his cell phone talking about crystal meth, rave music and clowns.

This is also the Fridays where I had a date for lunch, sat in my car talking for 5 hours and came back in for dinner.

This is also the Fridays where I had a date for dinner and then afterwards a different date there for dessert.

I also had a lot of firsts there:

• First time I ordered an alcoholic drink.
• First time a guy flirted with me in front of my mom.
• First place of my first date.
• First time I ever was the last people to leave a restaurant.
• First time I ever made friends with a server who was taking care of my table.
• First time I ever stood up a date and, for karma, the first place I was ever stood up at.
• First place I ever danced on a table.
• First place I had an adult friend party for my birthday.
• First place I was introduced to fried green beans, fried mac and cheese, turkey burgers, quesadillas, body shots (I was the body), 2 4 1, and loud birthday singing to celebrate as was gets you tons of attention. (me like attention? NEVER)

It was here where I had conversations with friends about love, life, break ups, crushes, drama and tons of laughter.

In ways I grew up here and now it is closed. What is funny is I do not miss the actual place because I have the memories.

These memories of my experiences, misadventures and laughter will always be with me. It is our memories that can keep us going through life and propel us into our next adventures.

This Fridays is gone but the memories and the adventures will surely continue somewhere else.

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You knew this was coming. This isn’t about finding love, appreciating love, losing love, giving love to others or to the world.

This is about self love (not that self love but that is healthy as well) which is how much you love yourself.

I believe we think we love ourselves but in reality, we tend to only like ourselves. Think about it. The things you say to yourself, the way you treat yourself, is that love?

This is about recognizing that loving yourself is not conceited or evil. It is very healthy. You deserve your own love.

Just like any relationship, it takes work. You know there are things you do not like and some of those things you can change and, when you honest with yourself, some of these things will never change. Just who you are. You have to learn to accept yourself as is.

You have to take the time to listen to yourself and follow your own instincts. When you are stressed, stop and take care of yourself. When you are emotional, allow yourself time to feel and deal with the emotion. When it is time to celebrate, take the time to celebrate well.

Taking care of yourself is love as well. You want to work on what you eat, that you are getting sleep and you are getting some fun exercise. You do not want to abuse yourself. You want to make sure you get care when your body sends you signs and not ignore them and hope they go away.

Self love is about putting yourself first. Knowing you deserve to be taken care of and deserve love more than anyone else, especially,  from yourself. I am asking you to be selfish. Not the negative selfish you were told about as a child. I want to you to put yourself first because of love.

You are beautiful, You are good enough, You are loved.

To wrap this up, I think RuPaul says it best:

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