When you aim for perfection, you discover it’s a moving target.

~George Fisher

I am not perfect.

I am clumsy and careless. I drop things, trip, spill food on myself. I can be messy, I start projects and change my mind, and I get distracted by any new shining object that appears.

I do not know always know what to say in every moment. I do not know exactly the social etiquette in formal dining situations. I have to pluck hair off my ears and stopped plucking the white hairs from my chest as I would create a bald spot.

I am only 5′7″ and half. I can not sing at all but do it all the time. I can not brush my teeth without getting toothpaste sprayed on the mirror. I can’t seem to ever be able to clean a mirror or iron a shirt. I laugh loudly.

I like to make raunchy jokes all the time. I use my sense of humor in all situations. I forget to call people back. I spend way too much time looking a photos on Facebook. I talk to the TV when I am alone.

I have a weird fear of flying, snakes and being attacked while in the shower. (I believe all killers wait until you are in the shower with shampoo in your eyes) I do not like theme park rides. I do not like backing up in a car FAST. I do not like seeing people throw up on TV or in movies.

I can have a hard time making a decision. I work way too much. I still have stuffed animals from when I was young. I like to eat out more than cook at home. I make any excuse to not exercise. I like to be the center of attention.

I do not drink alcohol. I do not eat red meat or pork. I have never done a illegal drug in my life. I never skipped school as a kid. I graduated with honors. I was the president of the honor society in college. I have never smoked. I have never been arrested. I have never had a hangover or not remembered a night or party.

I  make myself laugh, out loud even. I will hug anyone. I am very trusting. I want to make people smile and laugh. I want to make my parents proud. I care too much what people think of me. I have a hard time trusting myself.

I am not perfect but why would I want to be? Being imperfect is what makes me interesting, exciting, fun, unique and just me.

When you let go of the pursuit of perfection, you allow yourself to be perfectly you. - Michael Moniz

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This will take a shift for a lot of you. This is the moment in time you have to stop saying you are not happy. It doesn’t help you to believe you are unhappy. You are not. You ARE happy.

The difference is that you want to be happier.

The first step is to remember there are moments in life which can cause us to be mad, sad, hurt, disappointed etc. There are not times in our lives that will ever make us unhappy. We won’t let them.

The second step is to accept that we want to be happier. That part of our life journey is to want more. We want to be happier and we can be. We have to work on it and we have to be clear on what we want, but we can be happier than we are now.

The last step is letting go of happiness. There isn’t going to be a place you will arrive where you are perfectly happy. Life is a journey and it comes going and going. That means you have so many opportunities and possibilities to be happier and happier and even happier.

Right now, you can think of at least one time when you could have done something which would have made you happier but you didn’t for some reason.

Remember these moments and allow them to be the fuel that keeps you focused on moving forward and working to be happier. That is your guide.

What will make you happier in this moment and how can YOU make it happen?

Here is a great resource to help you in your journey:

Unhappy with Life?

Happiness is NOWHERE

Happier

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You knew this was coming…

It is important to show gratitude. I can quote all the people and research on what you will achieve when you learn to be show your gratitude daily.

Instead I am giving you an activity. An activity I want you take to seriously and put into action right away. Do not think about this and do not judge this. Just do it!!

Write a letter telling yourself all that you are grateful for. Not the people in your life, the adventures, etc. List all the things you are grateful you did for yourself.

What did I do for myself? That is the point of this activity. I think you will be surprised how much you do for yourself and how often you take it for granted.

Write your letter. Read it our loud to yourself.

See what happens…

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Come on! You know it feels good to say it!

Sometimes you are just over it, right? Sometimes you have to say enough is enough. Well that is what this is all about. Giving yourself permission to say f*ck it!

Everyone has expectations of you. Your job, family, friends, strangers, society, friend’s of friends, dates, dry cleaner…

The pressure to be everything to everyone can be way too much for any one of us. There is a point and time when we realize we need to walk away. We have to get back to a place to be at our best and not what everyone else wants or needs.

We tolerate so much and you have to give yourself the permission to say NO MORE!

How do you know when to say it? You know.

I know you do but you push yourself anyway. Sometimes afterwards you feel so gulity or so bitter or used. Sometimes after or even during you lash out at others, become frustrated and annoyed.

These are all signs you pushed yourself too far. You once again gave in and it is time for you to step away.

Remembering when to give your permission to say enough is enough saves you from getting to those points above. Instead, you always allow yourself to be at your best. To use your strengths and to put yourself first.

People will survive without you. They really will!

You won’t survive without yourself. Is it worth giving yourself up to everyone else to make them happy? What about your happiness?

I think you are ready. Ready to say FUCK IT!

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We all need excitement in our lives. The good kind. The kind that makes us feel great and know we are living life!

Excitement is the energy that is created when we are doing things in life we love, we enjoy and we have always wanted!

How do you create excitement in your life?

1. Find out what excites you – Take some time to figure out what gives you energy. What type of things really makes you feel great?

For me it is laughing! I love to laugh. I am always having a great day when I am spending it laughing.

2. Put together a plan – Once you know what you like, figure out how to get more! Sit down and come up with ideas that will allow you to bring that into your life.

Part of my plan is making sure I keep in touch with my friends. They always make me laugh. I also take time out of my day to do something silly or fun which can lead me to laugh. I also attend Laughter Yoga classes to help to encourage my healthy laughter.

3. Make it so – You know what brings you energy and you know how to bring more. Now you just have to work the plan. No excuses.

It is so easy for me to lose touch with my friends. We are all busy with our lives and time gets away from us. I have many ways I keep in touch with them and I schedule reminders so I remember to keep this as part of my To Do list in life. You have to hold yourself accountable.

Excitement makes life full of positive energy. It makes you feel great. It helps to balance out the times when you feel your life is being taken away by work, responsibilities, etc.

Where does the excitement come from? From you! You have to create it!

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I was shopping at Sharper Image (you can tell this was awhile ago) and I was purchasing an Ionic Breeze. I placed it on the counter and the woman asked me if I wanted another one for 50% off. I said of course, and grabbed for a box that was sitting on the ground by the register.

The one stopped me, looked me in the eye and said, “You do not want that one. It is DAMAGED!”

…

We are all damaged aren’t we? We have all had life experiences which have molded us to who we are now. These experience enrich our lives and sometimes they damage our lives. It is just a part of life.

It is time to own that we are damaged.

Some many times we try to hide our hurts, fears and weaknesses. We know they are not the best of us so we push them away. Pretend they are not there and try to razzle dazzle the world with anything that will distract them away from our damaged parts.

Why do we have to hide any part of who we are? Instead why not be upfront about it?

I have been hurt in love, friendships and working relationships. These experiences have caused me to question certain situations, to put up walls and even avoid situations that could end the same way. Is this helping me?

1. I have to admit who I am. The real me. I told Justin that I was hurt before and have trust issues with money. I am a very giving person but was burnt pretty bad once when it came to money. Ever since than, I am careful.

This is my problem and it is something I am working on BUT, it also allows Justin to see I am aware of it and gives him the background on my reactions, questions and past experiences.

2. I have to work on it. It is not an excuse because of one bad experience to now take it out on the world. You learn from this experience, you share your experience and you grow from this experience.

If I kept this hidden, it would become something that would eat at me. Something that would lash out at others and confuse them on my behavior. It could even drive people away because I am not willing to make changes to move forward.

Yes, I am damaged. Your damaged. We are all damaged. It is the point that we own it and we are working on it that makes the differences in who we are and who we become. Damaged doesn’t mean we are not worth anything. It just means we have been mistreated and it takes time for us to heal.

…

I looked at the item at Sharper Image and realized it was damaged with a bent box corner.

I opened the box to see nothing was ruined on the inside. It was perfect. It was just beat up through the wear and tear of travel, shipping, being in the store, not taken care of, rough handled, and being pushed aside.

I told the woman, I would take this one. It was perfect.

She said, “I wouldn’t say perfect because it is still a little damaged.”

I said, “I know. Aren’t we all?”

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I am not going to talk about change. By now you should know that change is inevitable and helps you along your journey.

Here is a quote which wraps it up:

When you are through changing, you are through.

~Bruce Barton

I am going to focus on changeS. The “S” is what is important.

When life is not what we expected, we know we need to make a change. That change could be:

• A new job
• A new career
• Go back to school
• End a relationship
• Move to a different city
• Buy a house
• Better diet and exercise

Once we decide on that change, and I know it is not easy, we put it into action and wait for life to get better…

That is the problem. A change doesn’t mean things will get better. It usually requires changeS.

How many? I do not know. It will take your own self reflection to determine this. You already know what needs to change but sometimes we are overwhelmed with the amount of changes needed.

So, how can we make this easier? When you decide you need a change, make sure to couple it with another change. Always commit to two changes at a time.

What two changes should I commit to? I am glad you asked.

When we decide to make a change, it tends to be from the list I mentioned above. Did you notice that all those items have to do with external things? The first thing we always commit to is changing the outside things of life but we forget we have to change the inside things as well.

Example:

I was in a relationship. It was going well but it wasn’t really making me happy. As time went on, I realized it just wasn’t right for me. It was hard to realize this and even harder to make the choice to end it. I was in love.

Weeks after, I questioned if I had made the right choice but life started to get better. I was happier!

In time, I met someone else. It was great and we started dating. It was only weeks into the relationship when it was already almost exactly like the one I ended. I wasn’t with the same guy? How could this be? Everything was different. Well, not everything…

I was still the same. I had not changed.

We change the external by ending the relationship but forget to change the internal. Remember in a relationship, it takes two to tango. What did you bring to the relationship that made you unhappy? What role did you play? What could you change to make things different the next time?

There are so many different views you can take on each situation and what changes you want to make. Just remember when you make a change couple it with something internally you will change as well.

You might just be surprised of the results.

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You need balls to get through life. Yes, balls.

We have all heard the saying, ” What is the difference between an ordinary life and extraordinary life? A little extra.”

That extra is balls!

We make choices in our lives all the time. We can choose to play it safe and remain where we are or we can go balls to the wall and shake things up.

We all know what we want in life but most of the time we are scared to make it happen.

• We are scared to ask the guy out on a date.
• We are scared to take a risk.
• We are scared to face a fear.
• We are scared to fall in love.
• We are scared to end a relationship that is not working.
• We are scared to come out.
• We are scared to switch jobs or careers.
• We are scared to stand up for what is right.
• We are scared to live our dreams.

One of my clients said this to me:

“I love working with you because you get me. You support me, make me laugh and allow me to be the best me. The one thing that is different between me and you is that you have balls.

As time has gone on, I have always wished I had the balls you did. To live your life the way you do. Through our time together, I realize what you have been helping me to do. I am starting to grow my own balls!“

And now it is time for you to grow your own balls too!

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It all starts with awareness.

A lot time we are guilty for living life with blinders on. We avoid topics and conflict. We are afraid to take the time to self reflect. We don’t listen to feedback from our loved ones. We do not want to know, what we deep down already know about yourself.

When we commit to being aware, we start to look at what is right in front of us. We now start to take note not only of what we are doing but what the results are. We notice patterns in our own behaviors as well as repeated cycles we create. We can even see beliefs we hold on to be true, that really are not.

A friend of mine and I were talking one day. Throughout our lunch I would share with her my thoughts or experiences and she was reply with, “Yes but…. Yes, however…,” Whatever I said, she would agree but then have something to add to show how I wasn’t really correct.

I finally confronted her with how I felt. I said, “Every time I share something, I feel as if you are correcting me on my statements.” She told me it was not the case and she was only adding to the conversation.

As we walked to our cars to part ways, she said good bye and frustratedly said, “Why is that everyone keeps telling that I correct them all the time. I do not get it!”

It starts with awareness.

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