What do you want in life?

I am sure you can list a bunch of quick items or goals but you can see your life? Can you see what your life will be in the future? Are you even sure all you want will get you to the future life you deserve?

It is better to focus on the end. Not the end of your life but your vision. A vision of what you want your life to be.A crystal clear vision.

It is easy to have a vision that is 20 years, 10 years, even 5 years way. That was me. I had a vision and it was 5 years away. I learned when I told myself this, my vision took longer to achieve. I was moving forward but at a pace of 5 years.

I also learned that I kept putting things off because it was going to happen in the future. No need to rush. No need to celebrate yet. I had more time. I could achieve more or add more. I had 5 years.

I would met a goal and then be surprised it happened faster than I expected so I would just redo the goal. How could I be living the life I wanted? It hasn’t been 5 years…

Not anymore.

Now I know exactly what I want my life to be. Not my life in the future, but my life now. I understand my life is not there yet but I do not have time to wait. I have to work  to create that vision in the here and now.

I am not longer setting huge goals where I keep pushing myself to do more each time I get close to the end. Instead I accept that this is a journey. I will always be growing. As long as I am clear on exactly what I want my life to be, I know where I am headed and what I have to do.

It is moving me from waiting for the better future, dreaming of a better future to creating a better life here and now.

I am unhooked from goals that lead me no where, dreams that would only be lived when the time was right and the fear I will look back on wasted time.

I am creating my life now. I know what I want and there is no time like the present to bring it forth.

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I want to go to Australia.

My whole life I have always felt it would be a brilliant experience to go Down Under.

The problem is that it takes a VERY long flight.

By now, everyone knows I have a fear of flying. I have gotten much better and even made it to Vegas this past year but I not someone who just jumps on a plane.

It is very easy for me to never travel if I didn’t like it. But I love to travel. I really do.

I pretend I don’t so people won’t pressure me. I might not want to go to everywhere in the world but there is many places I would love to see and experience.

Again, it can be easy to just walk away from flying but what am I missing?

That is exactly why I work on my fear. If there wasn’t a passion to visit certain places, traveling wouldn’t make a difference. But, I do want to see places and I will miss out if I just do not face my fear.

Do I want to look back with regret?

As I work towards conquering my fear, I remind myself of Australia. That one day, I will make it there and celebrate that I did it! That my childhood dream has come true. I have to keep that vision to support myself towards my goal.

How do you conquer a fear? You face it. You face it head on and you remember to breathe.

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“Stop dreaming about life and start living your dreams”

~ Michael Moniz

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There are hundreds and hundreds of people out on the web giving advice on how to brand yourself. Pick your niche, create your brand and be clear.

We all know the rules. Part of the rules and not to limit yourself.

I have been told over and over again that I shouldn’t tell people I am gay. Why not just keep it quiet or it is something they will find out on their own. You do not need to tell people upfront.

I am gay.

I just did it again and why I did it, is because it is part of brand. It is part of me.

I remember a business coach once told me, “If you tell people you are gay, then you can only work with gay people. Is that what you want to limit yourself to?”

Well, would that be so bad? Or what is funny is that I have told people I am gay for a long time. I have plenty of straight female clients. And guess what, a few straight male clients as well.

I am not telling people I am gay because I wanting to get your attention. I am telling you I am gay because it is who I am. It is part of my authentic self.

People work with me to find that authentic self. To start living life out loud.

How could I help people, if I can’t do it myself?

I know a lot of coaches who are part of the GLBT community. For the most part, I am one of the only who states upfront I am gay. Who has it on his blog, Twitter, Facebook, and bio. Most keep it hidden.

Of course they will share it with me in private but some are scared of what will happen. People might not hire them. People might judge them. It is is better to blend in.

I do not blend in. I never did and I never will. I am me.

So I am gay, so what? That is just a part of me. A part of me I am proud of and refuse to be ashamed of.

Now I ask you, are you living life out loud? What are you afraid to share with the world?

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If you only had 7 hours to live, what would you do?

If you only had 7 days to live, What would you do?

If you only had 7 weeks to live, what would you do?

If you only had 7 months to live, what would you do?

If you only had 7 years to live, what would you do?

Why aren’t you doing it now, any way?

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Tell me what you did on 3 Tuesdays ago around 11 am? Can you even remember?

Sometimes our days start to blur together. Same routine, some steps, same life. We wish the work would fly by to get to the weekend but even some of the weekends are a blur filled with sleeping in, laundry, cleaning, etc.

How can you make your days less a blur and, let’s admit it, a bore? Now and then add a little crazy to it. Why not?

Here are 7 ways to add a little crazy to your day:

Sing in your car: I know you think this is not crazy but it is, if you do it right. I used to sing in my car all the time but once I got to light or around people would stop or turn down the music. Now I sing, dance and point at people when I see them watching. I jam out and sometimes, other people join in!!

Just say it OUT LOUD: Sometimes the most random thoughts pop in my head. Once and awhile, I let it fly out. I was standing in line at Starbucks and this guy walked behind me and I had to move. Under his breathe he said, nice ass. I responded out loud, SMACK IT! The look on his face was well worth my crazy that day. Let those random thoughts out sometimes.

Talk back to the TV: Sometimes you have to let the drama bring you in. Talk back to your favorite show.  You have to scream the famous, “OH NO YOU DIDN’T!!” at least once in your lifetime. You should hear me when I watch Tyra or Real Housewives of Orange County.

Dress a little freaky: Some days you can’t be professional. You have to let your freak flag fly. Now this doesn’t have to be out loud. Just for you to know. Wear monkey underwear or like me, wear funky colored dress socks. Just adds a little fun to your day.

Talk to strangers like they are your friends: People are so scared to talk to each other. Don’t be. Just once and awhile totally start talking to someone like they are your best friend. Make it all about you and then just leave. You will feel so much better and it is cheaper than therapy.

Add dancing to your day: Ellen does it on her show, why can’t you? Sometimes I dance when I hear a song in a store I like. Sometimes I just dance while talking to a friend or colleague. I like to get my groove on and so should you. Remember it also burn calories so you can have more fried Oreos!!

Laugh out loud: You think this one is simple but it is not. We are so afraid to laugh. We are always trying to hold it in or telling our friends to stop so the laughter won’t get louder. I like to laugh LOUD. There is nothing wrong with laughing. It makes you feel good and it is all about having a great time. Who cares who looks? This is not about you, but about them. They want to be laughing to, trust me. LAUGH IT UP!

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Justin and I will be together for 5 years this September. When you have been with someone this long, you are so withdrawn from what it is like to be single. It is easy for me to pretend I remember but in reality, I am not facing it day to day.

I think about what it would be like being single again. I remember how much fun I had meeting a new guy. How we would spend hours chatting and texting, all excited about the first date. I LOVE FIRST DATES. You get to meet someone new and you never know what it may lead. If it works out the adventure has just begun but if it is horrible, you have a great story to tell your friends.

I remember being able to flirt and be raunchy with guys. I would get guys to do crazy things just for fun and to see how much I could influence them. What do you have to lose at 21?

I remember also being friend’s dates for events and having them as my dates. Getting all excited that maybe we would meet someone there. Or at least we would be the cool, fun single ones while all the rest were boring duds in relationships.

I remember being able to just jump up and go with my friends on random trips just because. You are single and you just want to be out there having fun and laughing hard! I would make midnight trips to Virgin Megastore with Robert to just buy a CD and flirt with the cashier.

I remember I got to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I did not have to think twice. I was free. My needs, my wants, they were all first and I did what I wanted…

I also remember talking to guys online for them to randomly sign off and disappear. I remember meeting guys who I thought were great to find out they had lied to me and were not who they said they were.

I remember going to parties, events, etc and leaving alone to go home and eat double stuf oreos. I remember staying up way late with my laptop open just chatting with people to keep me from feeling alone.

Being single was very fun and I enjoyed it. Just like being in a relationship, it has its ups and downs. Both take work and it is not easy.

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Stop saying the following things to yourself:

1. I am too tired
2. I am too scared
3. It will never happen
4. It is not perfect
5. What will people think
6. I can do it tomorrow
7. It will be better in…(one week, 2 months, 3 years)
8. It is never enough
9. I weigh too much
10. They do not like me
11. No one cares
12. I do not feel loved
13. I should give up
14. I am getting old
15. No one listens to me
16. I wish I was like…
17. I do not feel well
18. I am bored
19. I regret…
20. I wish I was attractive as…
21. I wish I was younger
22. I will not say anything
23. I am stressed
24. I can’t sleep
25. I am not happy
26. No one wants me
27. I wish my life was like (insert name)
28. Nothing works out for me
29. I am stuck here
30. I am having a bad day

I am sure you can even add to this list. Today make the commitment to stop saying any of these 30 to yourself.

Replace them with statements that say what you really want.

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