My friend Becky turned 30 this past weekend and we had a great time celebrating her birthday. We ended up at this downtown bar which was PACKED. It was so hard to move we could barely get to the bar. Becky thought about leaving but we knew we were better off just staying there.

We were able to find a place with a table close to the DJ booth and we moved into our new spot alittle way from the crowd. Most of the group took seats while Becky, Courtney and I danced to the music in the very little space that was available.

Out of no where, a huge group of people left leaving us LOTS of room. We knew we had only one choice and that was to dance BIG to save the space so we would not be cramped again! Off we went busting out all our BIG dance moves and holding the space. Not only was this a great work out but it really did allow us to have our space saved as we had more friends coming to join us soon.

People entered the bar and tried to move into our space but the big dancing always caused them to give us a look and move to the other side. It was easy to be embarrassed because of what we were doing. We looked silly but we were laughing to hard to care. We were having fun and enjoying our time out on the town.

I think you have to think about who you are. Are you the person who will dance BIG when you have the chance or will you just pick a seat and watch others because you are too afraid of what others might think?

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Yes Nick did it again! He ran the Disney Marathon and completed his third year in a row! What a great accomplishment. My friend Becky and I will be doing a 5K in March which doesn’t even compare to what Nick did. Nick says it is all a mental exercise and I agree with him. I am struggling just with the 5k.

While Nick was here for his race we also spent our time trying to new restaurants, going to the parks and just having a fun time with the great weather we were having. It was nice to be able to spend almost a whole week catching up and having fun. It was like a vacation for me as well minus the running.

One thing we did was rent a 4 person surrey bike with Justin. We were able to drive it around the resort and enjoy just being outdoors. Neither of us had every been on one so it was a great first experience.

I was in the driver’s seat and was told how to use the simple brake. They told us we would come to a bridge where we would need to peddle a lot because it is very fast incline BUT once we got up we would need to use the brake because the decline is worse and there are sharp turns and people would be walking on the sidewalk.

We enjoyed our ride and made it up the incline. As we headed to the decline, I couldn’t get the brake to work and we hit it full force. All I could do is hold on and hope we did not tip, hit a tree or a person on the way down. We were lucky to not do any such thing.

When we completed the full circle, they told us we could go around again and we decided to give it a go. Justin drove this time and mastered the brake that I seemed not to be able to work the first time. When we hit the decline, Justin looked at me before he applied the brake and I just smiled. He let the brake go and we rode the bike downhill again full force laughing all the way.

I realize that sometimes I am so scared that something may go wrong. I spend so much of my time planning for it just in cause. Worried and avoiding anytyhing that may not work out. When I was on the bike, I never thought once the brake would not work for me but we survived. There was nothing to do but to let go and believe it would work out. And it did.

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1. Speak Up – How many times have you wanted to ask someone out, but didn’t? How many times did you want to stop someone from picking on someone else, but didn’t? How many times have you wanted to ask your boss if they really read your emails, but didn’t? How many times did you want to ask someone to please stop talking on their cell phone in the movie, but didn’t? Learn to speak up for yourself and others. Realize you have a voice and you deserve to be heard. I am not asking you to react to things but respond to them. I believe you will do it when needed and get the results you deserve. 

2. Learn to Believe – So often we are afraid of how things may turn out. We always plan for the worse just in case. We self doubt and question people, situations, and life. You need to learn to just believe. Somethings in life can not be solved with a perfect answer but you just have to believe you know that answer and be happy with it. You want to believe in yourself and that you will make the best choice for you. You will want to believe the outcomes in your life will be great and things happen for a reason. Things will work out in the end, if you believe. 

3. Laugh Loudly – Do I need to tell you that life is too short not to be laughing. Laughing loudly so everyone can hear your joy. Laughing is full of energy and when you laugh loudly, you spread the joy through out everyone. Aren’t you tired of waiting for the right moment to laugh? Just laugh and make it out no matter where you are. Laugh with friends, laugh at yourself and laugh at life. 

4. Be Naughty – To truly be good, you have to be a little bad. Don’t be afraid to treat yourself with something a little naughty. Maybe you have the dessert even through you are being healthy. Maybe you rent that adult video to spice up the night. Maybe you treat yourself to a spa day. Maybe you call in sick to go to the beach. Sometimes you need to blur the lines and live on the WILD side of life…for a moment. 

5. Take Risks – Life is a risk but we end up playing it safe. Playing it safe makes life boring and keeps you from really be who you COULD be. No one achieves their dreams from playing it safe. Accept that risks lead to growth, life lessons and BIG results. Take the chance on YOU and go for it! 

6. Forgive – You can not forward through life dragging along heavy bags of past drama. Free yourself from all the baggage. Learn that it is OK to forgive and learn to do it often and quickly. Let it go. It is not worth holding yourself back. You will be better for it. 

7. Define Your Normal – What is normal? We all have our own views on normal and it is about time you create your own. You are normal so accept that and make it your life definition. Stop trying to be different. Stop trying to be the same. Stop trying to fit the mold. You are who you are and that is normal for you. 

8. Give Yourself Permission to Be You – There are so many people who will judge you in life. Stop being one of them. Give yourself the permission to just be yourself without judgement. You are going to be the REAL you. Don’t hold back and don’t allow others to hold you back. Just learn to be who you are and LOVE IT!

9. Give up on Perfect – We spend our lives chasing perfect. The perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect man, the perfect outfit, the perfect BLAH! Who wants perfect? Once you get it, there is no where else to go or want or achieve. Realize life is not about perfection because you learn the most from our mistakes. Seek your dreams but not because when you get there it will be perfect. Seek your dreams because enjoying the journey is much more fun. 

10. Love – Yes it sounds cheesy but it is true. Life is so much better when it is full of love. Learn to surround yourself with the people, places, situations, foods, etc you love. If you don’t LOVE something then you are only tolerating it, and it is taking up space which could be filled with something you love. Learn to base your choices on love. It will make life so much easier.

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You know I love my notes from the Universe and here is one I want to share with all of you…

“When in doubt, Michael, show up early. Think less. Feel more. Ask once. Give thanks often. Expect the best. Appreciate everything. Never give up. Make it fun. Lead. Invent. Regroup. Wink. Chill. Smile. And live as if your success was inevitable, and so it shall be.”

Happy global domination,
The Universe

Sure it is written to me but doesn’t apply to all of us? Sometimes we forget to take control of our own lives and make things happen. We all need a wake up call to be present in our lives.

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As I have mentioned before, I am working on my first book this year. One of the goals on my life list is to complete a memoir. Now of course my life has only begun so it is just one in a series.

I have begun the process and have committed to completing it this year. I am very excited and can not wait to share with everyone!

So why am I writing the book? FOR ME! Yes that is right, I am doing it all for myself. I am not doing it to be rich, or famous or win a writing award. I am doing it because I want to share my stories with all of you out there. I am doing it because it makes me happy and I deserve to do something for myself!

This might sound selfish but it is OK to be selfish. You are allowed to have personal goals that their only purpose is to make you smile, laugh and be happier.

What do you want to do this year for yourself? What is a goal that is all about you and something you have always wanted to achieve? Don’t you deserve the opportunity to go after it?

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Many years ago I met this guy online. We talked for about a week and he was so sweet and funny. We just fit well and I was amazed. We were so excited to meet. We meet and there was sparks and we started dating. We had so much fun together. We spent everyday together ever since our first date.

He mentioned to me that he was dating this guy before me and it didn’t work out. The guy called him later because he had this holiday party at Crate Barrel and couldn’t find a date and begged him to go. Being a nice guy, he said he would go before dating me, but would cancel if I wasn’t OK with it.

I said of course I was fine with it and he needed to go. It was sweet of him to want to be his date and no one should be alone at their holiday party.

The Saturday came of the party and he was dragging his feet about going but he left for the party. After he left, my friend Robert called me and asked me all about the new guy that he knew about. I told him it was going well and he was so sweet and honest. Robert mentioned he was heading to the Crate and Barrel party and was excited because he heard it was going to be a blast since a lot of his friends would be there.

I told him that is funny because my guy was going to be there and told him the story about how he broke up with this guy but was being nice so he wouldn’t be alone. Robert said he will keep an eye on him for me. I said you didn’t need to worry but it will be a fun way to meet him.

The party starts at 8 pm and around 9pm Robert calls me.

He tells me that our friend Dan was sitting at the table with him and was so excited to introduce everyone to his new boyfriend. The boyfriend happened to be the same guy I was seeing. Robert said they were holding hands, kissing, etc. Robert pulled Dan and aside and told him about how his bf was dating me for the last few weeks and Dan mentioned how he hadn’t really heard from him or saw him in the last weeks because he said he was busy with work.

I said HELL NO! I couldn’t believe I was part of this drama!

About 30 minutes later, my guy called me drunk and told me he missed me and he wanted to leave the boring party ASAP and begged me to come get him. I acted like I didn’t know anything and told him he needed to stay and have fun.

Robert called me 15 minutes later and said that my guy had totally been making out with Dan in the restroom and being all wild and Dan asked him to calm down. My guy then left to go outside to talk on his cell. (Which was with me) and then came in and front of everyone in the party told Dan it was not working and it was over. Dan now was embarrassed and crying. 

Right then, my second line beeped and it was my guy  asking me once again to please pick him up. He had told everyone was leaving and was ready to go. He missed me. I said not to worry, I was heading there.

I picked him up and starting driving. He kept telling me he loved and me and missed me the whole time. He noticed I was not the same. When I pulled up in the driveway of his house, he asked why we were not at mine. I said that I knew Dan and he was a friend of mine. I would not be the “other” guy. That was not cool how he treated Dan and if he did it with him, he would do it with me. 

He promised it was not the case and he was in love with me. I said it is too bad he wasn’t honest with me because I couldn’t trust him for now on. No matter how much fun we had, how much laughter we had and how much I liked him, I couldn’t stay with him because of how he treated my friend and was being dishonest with me. 

He started crying and I told him good night. I never looked back.

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Life is full of ups and downs. We know we have to take all the good with all the bad.

Being single gives you so much freedom to do what you want but you miss out having a partner to attend your holiday party with. It is great to have all your family living in the same town as you but this means you will also have to spend more time at family get togethers and unexpected visits. 

Those are just a few examples of the good and bad. I am sure you can come up with tons examples with every simple part of your life. There is a good and a bad side to be seen. 

In the last week, I want you to think about all the hassles you had to deal with. 

• Spilling food on yourself
• Losing your keys
• Picking up cry cleaning
• Forgot your password to a website
• Spam emails
• Having a cold
• Bad customer service at a restaurant
• Rude person in line
• Waiting too long for an appointment

Think about all things that were a hassle to you. That you dreaded or drained you of energy. Both big and small. 

After you complete the list, make a list of all the things that uplifted you in the last week. 

• Having lunch with a friend
• Watching your favorite movie
• Getting a card from a family member
• Treating yourself to ice cream
• Finished a project before deadline
• Got a hug 
• Received praise
• Enjoyed a good TV show
• Laughed out loud

Again, this is your list. Create it with all the things that uplifted you. When you are done, add up all the items on each list and compare the numbers. Which one is larger?

If you notice the hassles were easy to list and/or there are more of them, it is time to take control. It would be easy to focus all your time in reducing the hassles in life BUT there will always be hassles. PLUS if you spend all your time focused on hassles (as you might be doing now) that is all you will see and remember. 

It is better to increase your uplifts. You know what makes you happier, makes you smile, makes you laugh and makes life more interesting. You do not need to wait for good things to happen to you, you need to make them happen in your life. 

Figure out what you can do to add more uplifts in your life to balance the hassles. I think in time you will even notice the hassles start to decline.

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That is how I describe this picture of me with my dad. I posed like that because I thought it was fun and silly. I was sassy! 

People always ask me when did I know I was gay. I do not think there is a moment you know you are gay. I think there is only a moment when you accept you are gay. 

Growing up I always knew I was different. I remember in my first year of school that when the boys chased the girls to kiss them, it was always accepted that I was being chased with the girls. I remember playing house in school and I stayed home to cook and clean with my female classmates while the boys went to work to build things. 

I knew I saw and felt things differently than most of the kids. I didn’t know why but I just knew I did. What really was sad was there was no one to talk to about it. No examples to show me I was normal. 

My gifted teacher (who I did not care for) told my mom in my program review that she needed to get me to play sports to make more male friends to help me develop. I was doing well in all other areas but she thought this would really help me overall.

She wasn’t wanting me to learn to work well with a team or learn hand-eye coordination. She wanted me to be “normal” like the other boys so I would fit in. She was wanting me to fit more into the male gender role. She wanted me not to say my favorite color was purple. She didn’t want me to like Jem and Holograms. She didn’t want me to like art and music more than I did PE. 

I am sure she was only 24 years old and didn’t she know much about life by then. I am sure she had the best intentions but she wasn’t allowing me to be me. Instead she was judging me, as a child, and wanting me to fit the mold as so many other children did regardless if they were happy or not. 

My mom did not think it was necessary to sign me up for any sports groups.

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I love when people share great books and learning tools with me. This was a book I was introduced to just recently. It is called Strengthfinder 2.0. 

Amazon says this about the book:

DO YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO WHAT YOU DO BEST EVERY DAY?

Chances are, you don’t. All too often, our natural talents go untapped. From the cradle to the cubicle, we devote more time to fixing our shortcomings than to developing our strengths.

To help people uncover their talents, Gallup introduced the first version of its online assessment, StrengthsFinder, in the 2001 management book Now, Discover Your Strengths. The book spent more than five years on the bestseller lists and ignited a global conversation, while StrengthsFinder helped millions to discover their top five talents.

In its latest national bestseller, StrengthsFinder 2.0, Gallup unveils the new and improved version of its popular assessment, language of 34 themes, and much more (see below for details). While you can read this book in one sitting, you’ll use it as a reference for decades.

Loaded with hundreds of strategies for applying your strengths, this new book and accompanying website will change the way you look at yourself — and the world around you — forever.

I love assessments which allow you to learn more about yourself. After taking the assessment (which took maybe 20 minutes) you receive your top five strengths. Here are mine and their descriptions…

People who are especially talented in the Woo theme love the challenge of meeting new people and winning them over. They derive satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection with another person.

People who are especially talented in the Communication theme generally find it easy to put their thoughts into words. They are good conversationalists and presenters.

People who are especially talented in the Positivity theme have an enthusiasm that is contagious. They are upbeat and can get others excited about what they are going to do.

People who are especially talented in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.

People who are especially talented in the Activator theme can make things happen by turning thoughts into action. They are often impatient.

Do they sound like me? What are your strengths?

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One of my favorite things to do is smile. When I am around people, I am always make it a point to smile at them. Of course, this leads to me having long conversations with strangers but I do not mind. I love talking to people and it so makes the time go fast waiting in line. 

Make a point this week to pay attention to strangers. You will notice they never look you in the eye. Even if they do, they look away as soon as they can or they just stare, no smile. 

Energy is so contagious. You can share your positive energy by smiling. After the week of observing, watch what will happen when you start making eye contact and just flash them a smile. People become nicer to you, people may even smile back! It really changes your whole experience. 

Smiling can really make a big difference in other’s lives. You just do not know…

One day when I was waiting in line for my prescriptions at Walgreens, an older man was sitting in a chair by the line. I looked up and caught his eye and smiled. He smiled back and started talking to me. Nothing but small talk but it was nice. When I picked up my order, I started to leave and I stopped to just say good bye. He thanked me for talking to him because he is used to being ignored in his old age. He said it made his day to know their were nice people out there. 

All I did was smile and have small talk with him for at the most 2 minutes. Think about what your smile could do for someone…

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