It is New Year’s Eve and we are ready to welcome in a brand new year to begin. Of course it is a normal time for us to think about what we accomplished this year and where we are headed in the next. 

As a gift today, I am offering you the chance to go to the future in my time machine. Are you jealous you don’t have a time machine? You shouldn’t be because I am letting you use it!  

You get into my time machine and move forward through time. You see beautiful color swirls all around you as you listen to pop songs from the 80’s. Finally the machine comes to a stop and the door opens to show you December 30, 2010. 

WOW. 2 years later in time. You are here and get the opportunity to see what your life is like. Unfortunately I can not come with you, you will just have to tell me what you see. 

What is your life like in 2010?

What is your career like? What is your relationships like? What about your friends and family? What makes you happy? Where do you live? What do you do for fun? What vacations have you been on? What fears have you conquered? What challenges have you faced? How successful are you? What makes you smile? What have you accomplished or achieved? How great is your health? How are you financially doing? 

It is time to go back to the present. We can’t live in the future, we have to live for now. You get back in the time machine knowing how GREAT your life is going to be in 2010! It is so exciting and you can not wait to get started on the journey to 2010. 

The question is, what is the first step?

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Every year Justin and I have the tradition of going to the Gaylord Palms to see ICE! It is a tradition we both love. We get ready on Thanksgiving morning to head down to the Disney area so we can be at ICE just before it open. We get very excited until we enter and remember it is a chilly 9 degrees. Living in Florida, we never feel temperatures like that so it always reminds us how much we love the warmth and sunshine. 

Here are photos from our day:

PS. Yes I grew a beard during that time. It is gone now.

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Today is my sister Vicky’s birthday. As you know there is a age difference between my sisters and brother and me. My sister Vicky was 17 when I was born so I was almost like her child. We spent a lot of time together as I was growing up and we were even roommates for a long period of time. 

I am thankful for a great sister like Vicky because she put up with a lot from me. A LOT. 

• She would sing Wilson Phillips Hold On with me in the car and had to deal with me demanding who’s part was who. 
• Being scared of worms, she put up with my fake education classes where I taught her about the inside workings of the worm and wanted her to dissect one like I was doing in 7th grade science class. 
• She babysat me for our parent’s anniversary and then performed “Locomotion” with me with our matching jean jackets as a surprise for our mom and dad. 
• Later she would have to learn how to flip me in our next dance performance to Jane Child, “Don’t Want To Fall In Love.”
• Even later she became the stage hand who supplied the water spray and moving fish in my Little Mermaid performance. 
• She would take me to Pizza Hut every time I receive my free pizza reward from the Book It Program in school. 
• She took me to Sea World as a child and stood by the dolphin pool for many hours until one day I was finally able to reach and touch one. 
• She would order pizza with me and watch Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion over and over again. We only did this on the nights Buffy was not on. 
• She would play Zelda with me nonstop for 3 days until we beat it. 
• She gave me a wine cork when I was 6 and told me if I kept it by my bed at night, I would safe from nightmares. It worked. 
• She would allow me to come over to her house at night to play on AOL at night. Even when she went to bed at 10pm and had to be up at 6am and I would be up on the computer until 3 in the morning. 
• She put up with the LONG name I created for her because I decided she was going to be a nun in my wonderful pretend world. 
• She listened to my fashion advice when she was getting ready for her dates. 
• She came rushing over to check on me when I hit the parking garage with my car at 16 to make sure I was OK. 
• She pretend to enjoy reacting the beginning of Fame with me when I would push between her and my brother and dance. 
• She would get excited each week to watch Facts of Life with me on Saturday nights. 
• When I moved out with my first boyfriend, it was her who offered for me to live with her so I wouldn’t have to be alone for the first time. 
• She stayed living with me when the relationship was over so I wasn’t alone. 
• When I was younger we would go on Saturdays to the mall to play video games in the arcade. (Remember arcades! How much fun was that!)
• She took me every year to get my picture with Santa and even when we both were way too big to sit on his lap, we would still do it. 
• She has always believed in all of my ideas and has never doubted I would succeed….EVER. 
• She took my first college class, speech, with me so my transition to college was a lot easier not having to do it alone. 
• She came out first and showed me being gay was nothing to be ashamed about and taught me a lot about acceptance. 

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My Dad was born and raised on the island of Bermuda. He would celebrate Boxing Day as part of the holiday traditions. Boxing Day is held the day after Christmas and was celebrated by giving gifts to those who offered services to you through out the year. It was a way to say thank you. 

We may not celebrate it here in States but wouldn’t be great if we did? I think a lot of people have a hard time with the holidays especially the day after it is all over. What if you added Boxing Day to your holiday tradiations?

It would be a great opportunity to celebrate your gratitude after the holiday season. You could spend the day creating small gifts, notes, gratitude boxes or letters to hand out to all the people in your life who you are thankful for. You could let all the people who supported you throughout the year know how much they mean to you. This could be the day where it is not about the gifts bought at the store but a gift you give from your heart to allow everyone to know how much you care and love them.

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My friend Stephanie sent this to me and I had to share it with all of you as we arrive at Christmas Eve and to give you a fun perspective and a good laugh: 

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit.  In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it.  Have one for me. Have two.  It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy.  Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s.  You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three.   When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

“Life should NOT be a  journey to the grave with the  intention of arriving  safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but  rather to skid in   sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly  used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!”

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I get asked a lot why am I a coach?

I am a coach because I love being able to make a difference with people. It is all about helping to support people in their own personal development. I work in the field of human development.

It is so easy to live your life by what others want. We look to make our family and friends proud. We want people to like us. We want someone to fall in love with us. We want to fit into society. We want to make people happy.

But the real questions are:

• Do you make yourself proud?
• Do you like yourself?
• Do you love yourself?
• Do you live by your own personal rules?
• Do you make yourself happy or even happier?

I coach so I can help people answer these questions and realize it all starts with themselves. Finding our authentic selves is not always easy so why not have someone to support you through the discovery, process and development!

I coach so I can be a partner in your life and help you acknowledge what is working, enthuse you to change what you want and celebrate you when you get closer to your goals and vision.

I coach because I learn so much from my partnership with my clients as they learn from me. As I coach, I have to develop myself as well and get to take time to make sure I am taking care of myself and growing as well.

I am a coach to listen to all your dreams. You have tons of them and we can work together to take them out of your head and turn them into goals. We will partner on a development of a plan to more your goals into reality. Your dreams deserve to come true. Lets make them come true! You have the power to do it!

The new year is almost here, isn’t it time you start living life out loud?

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It is that time again!! I have been getting a lot of emails wanting to know when I would do another Ask Michael so here it is. 

This is your chance to ask me whatever you want. What would you like to know? What would you like me to write about? 

Leave your thoughts in the comments. Some I will answer in the comments while others I will use for future blog posts. 

Don’t be shy and ask a question…

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Do you remember when everyone was on AOL? That was the system we all used to reach the internet. We all had screen names and email through the service and if you didn’t you were so behind the times.

What I really remember was spending hours on AOL (which was dial up back then) talking to boys in the Orlandom4m room. Of course my friend West and I used a phone service before AOL brought us into the internet to meet boys for dating.

My sister had AOL and she let create a screen name on her account. I tried to come up with tons of names but could never pick one I liked. It wasn’t until I met a guy on AOL did my screen name come to me.

I was young and wasn’t use to dating or dealing with men. I thought they were all honest, truthful and wanting the best. Not realizing I was young and naive and the boys could tell. I ran into men pretending to be younger than they were (like 15 years younger), men just interested in sex (could you believe it?) and boys who were just playing games.

I met OrlStud77. He was an older guy, by a whole year, and was funny and sweet online. We talked for weeks. He sent me pictures and he was a good looking guy. He happened to go to Rollins College where I had always dreamed of attending so I was jealous and wanted to know all about it.

We had great conversations until 2 or 3 in the morning. He always wanted to meet in person but I was scared to do it. He always want me to come over to his house which made me feel creepy and I am glad I trusted my instincts. Finally one day I decided to meet him at the mall. At that age, the mall was where life happened for me back then.

I was so nervous I didn’t know what to do. It took me hours to decide on the perfect pair of jeans and t shirt to wear. I remember it being cold but decided not to wear a jacket because I looked better without one. I drove to mall and waited on the bench in front of Structure. I was 15 minutes early so I wouldn’t miss him…

…After one hour and 15 minutes passed, I realized he was not coming. Of course I didn’t have a cell phone back there or even his number to call. I honestly do not think I had my pager yet. I just sat and waited and learned how it felt to be stood up. I was devastated.

When I returned home, I sign on to find him. It would a whole day before he signed on again. I asked him what happened and he said something came up. I knew from his response he was lying and our regular conversations became short and he was no longer interested in me.

A friend of mine online asked me what was bothering me because he could tell I had been hurt. I explained what had happened with OrlStud77 and he told me that he was known to do this often. He was a flirt and tease and he loved to get guys interested and then blow them off. I felt bad.

I talked to my friend West about what had happened and how disappointed I was. I was no longer going to be online. West inspired me once again by reminding me that not all guys on there have to be like him. We were on their so there has to be nice guys like us as well. West then said, “Who cares about that stud because you are the real Orlando stud.”

With that conversation I reinvented myself. There was my screen name OrlStud78. He would be known as the stud who stood guys up and I would be the stud with the heart of gold.

Now as an adult I see how crazy I was to copy his name but when you are young and hurt, you do not always make the best choices. It was fun though and it helped me to not allow someone else take away my fun or my search for love. Within a year or so I changed my name again which is still the AIM name I use today.

I was so lucky to have West as my best friend to help me through the beginning of dating. He took me under his wing. It really wasn’t luck but being blessed. Blessed to have West help me out, believe in me and support me.

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Today I was making myself my morning bagel with peanut butter. As it was toasting I played some music to get my morning going. I like to get my groove on to get me motivated and wake myself up!

While I was singing my second verse of womanizer I noticed smoke in the kitchen. MY BAGEL WAS BURNING!!

I was able to get it just in time. Well in time so it didn’t burst into flames but the top part was just a little burnt. I figure I could just use a knife to remove the charcol layer from my bagel. 

As I stood at the kitchen sink scraping the black burnt top coating of my bagel, I started thinking about being burnt in life. Not by a fire but by someone you trusted. It hurts and makes you bitter to trust others. It is always shocking when it happens and you promise yourself you will never let it happen again. You will never allow yourself to be so open, so vulnerable to someone else. 

Looking at my bagel I thought “how burnt are you really?” Have they really ruined your life or was this just a life experience you will learn from and then move on? Will you remember this in 5, 10, 30 years? 

I think it really comes down to a choice. Are you going to allow them to destroy or change your life even more then they did already or did they just burnt alittle of the top layer you can scrape off, heal from and move on?

What will you choose?

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