This is week twenty-two in my personal “If… Project” in which I answer questions from the book “If… (Questions for the Game of Life)”

There are 125 pages of this book, each with four questions. I plan to take one page each week and answer the questions as thoroughly and honestly as I am able. In addition, I invite you to answer the questions along with me, whether it be in the comments section, your own personal blog, or just within your own thoughts.

Perhaps in doing so, we will get to know each other better, but even more importantly, get to know ourselves better.

This week’s questions:

If you could decide how to spend your last day alive, what would you do?

I do not know what my life will be on my last day. I just know I do not want to spend it alone. I want it to not be sad but I want it to be fun and full of laughter. I prefer not to know it is my last day. I would rather it just ends in my sleep, peacefully.

If you could decide what will be written on your gravestone, what would you have inscribed?

I do not want a gravestone. I want to be cremated and scattered. Somewhere like a beach or a park. Where people will visit and feel death but life. I do not want just my family and friends to visit but it will be public so people will always be around. I want it to be a happy place where I can be laid to rest.

If you could choose the single most valuable thing you ever learned, what would it be?

What goes around, comes around. I have seen it so many times. You have to be careful how you treat people and what you do. There really is a balance in life.

If you were kidnapped and allowed to telephone one person for one minute only, who would you call?

I think anyone would call the police. That would be the logical answer. If I could not call the police I would call my mom. She would know what to do or at least make me feel safe in a scary situation. She would give me strength.

Those are my answers to this week’s questions. What are yours?

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When I saw this cover, I freaked out! I am so excited to see the “new” 90210 and I am glad two of my favorites will be part of the show.

It is a comfortable feeling to know a show I loved growing up is returning and even including some of the characters from the original. I look forward to being addicted to the show once again and not missing any of the drama that takes place at West Beverly High.

The other part of me is prepared that I may not like the show. It won’t be the same as when I watched it and it might not appeal to me as it did long ago. I am older now so will I even relate to the high school drama? Will I consistently compare it to the old one?

This is why I do not live in the past. The past is long gone and all we have all the memories and the lessons learned. We have to move on from the past because we can not recreate it or relive it. Life is all about enjoying the present and making the future what we want it to be.

How can I watch the new 90210? By letting go of the old one and knowing this is a NEW show. The past is back there and I have to be open to the new students, new problems and new stories. It may or may not keep my attention but I will give it a chance because I am excited.

You truly have to let go of the past to move on and enjoy the present. What are you still holding on from the past that is keeping you from enjoying the present?

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 Dating can be so much fun. Regardless if you are single and just beginning dating someone or been in a relationship for years, you can still enjoy having some fun cheap planned dates to help you get the most out of your time together. It is all about creating fun experiences you and your date. Here are 8 Fun Cheap Date Ideas to give a chance:

• Sunrise or Sunset Date - Pick a spot where you can either watch the sunrise or watch the sunset. This could be in your backyard, at the beach, at a park or on top of a building. You ask your date to be ready and head out there with muffins and hot cocoa or Hot tea and cookies and just enjoy watching the sun’s daily adventure of appearing or disappearing.
• Volunteer - Find a fun event in your area where you both could volunteer for a few hours. It could be helping out a group, working an event, or even planting trees or cleaning up a beach. Not only do you feel great for giving back but a lot of times the event will give you cool matching t shirts!
• Midnight Snack - Meet your date at a late night dinner or invite them to your house for cookies and milk at midnight. It is just a fun little game where you enjoy spending time together at a random time at night. Make sure you take it serious and make it a date at midnight.
• The 7-11 Date - Give each other a budget ( $5 or $10 each) and go to 7-11 and buy whatever you want to plan your date. Maybe you get slushies and nachos. Maybe you get a coloring book and crayons. Do not count out crackers and spray cheese or just getting newspaper to read the comics in with 2 coffees.
• The Photo Date - Buy a disposable camera and plan your date to be a photo shoot. Either plan to be around ton and take funny pictures of each other or pick a theme where you want to take pictures of butterflies, cool graffiti or wonderful flowers. Once the camera is done, get coffee while you wait for them to be developed and have a good time reviewing your date. 
• Brunch on Bench -  As your date to meet you at your favorite bench in town. Maybe it is in the mall, park or on a college campus. Anywhere where you can talk, be together and enjoy the view. Pack two bagels or two bagel sandwiches and just enjoy the time together. 
• Tallest Building - Find a building in town with a nice view and meeting in the lobby with coffee. Then head up in the elevator and just enjoy the view and see all that you can. It is about time together with a different view of the world.
• Be a Kid Again - Why not go swinging or play Twister, or go to the Circus? Think about what you enjoyed as a kid and why can’t we do it again as a date? You will have a blast going back to being a kid and laughing until it hurts!

I hope this list gives you some fun ideas to create wonderful dates with your new love or the love you have been lucky to have for awhile. It is all about making life full of happy experiences!  

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I believe that most people are coachable but they’re not always coachable at every point in time. Sometimes people want change, but they’re not currently open to changing their beliefs, behaviors and actions.

If that’s the case coaching won’t work, and it’s better to wait until you’re more open to change to try coaching. Here’s a quick quiz to find out if you’re currently ready for coaching. Your coach needs for you to be at the place in life where you are coachable.

INSTRUCTIONS: Circle the number that comes closest to representing how true the statement is for you right now. Then, score yourself, using the key at the bottom of the page.

This quiz helps you - discover how coachable you are, right now.

1 = Less True   5 = More True

I can be relied upon to be on time for all calls and appointments.

1   2   3   4   5

This is the right time for me to accept coaching. I am open to change.

1   2   3   4   5

I am fully willing to do the work and let the coach do the coaching.

1   2   3   4   5

I keep my word without struggling or sabotaging.

1   2   3   4   5

I’ll give the coach the benefit of the doubt and “try on” new concepts or different ways of doing things.

1   2   3   4   5

I will speak straight (tell the whole truth) to the coach.

1   2   3   4   5

If I feel that I am not getting what I need or expect from the coach, I will share this as soon as I sense it and demand that I get what I want and need from the relationship.

1   2   3   4   5

I am willing to stop or change the self-defeating behaviors which limit my success.

1   2   3   4   5

I see coaching as a worthwhile investment in my life.

1   2   3   4   5

I am someone who can share the credit for my success with the coach.

1   2   3   4   5

____________

TOTAL SCORE (add up all numbers)

SCORING KEY

10 - 20 Not coachable right now.

21 - 30 Coachable, but more willingness would permit faster progress.

31 - 40 Coachable.

41 - 50 Very coachable; ask the coach to demand a lot from you!

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Dictionary.com says: any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins.

This past week I was able to meet Justin’s mother and stepdad for the first time. They also bought his half sister and step sister along. Was I nervous to meet them, no because I already felt they were family. The question was, would they feel the same about me…

And they did.

The moment I meet them I knew this was now a new part of my family. We were able to spend some great times together touring Orlando, going to theme parks and just having fun together sharing stories about each other.

Why did I feel they were family? Because they truly cared about who I was and was interested in my life and getting to know me. They also were open to sharing about their lives and eager to open up with me. They trusted me, they were honest with me, and there was love there.

I can think of all the extended family reunions I went to where my own blood cousins didn’t know anything about me and really didn’t care to learn. They weren’t willing to open to share about themselves and I didn’t feel welcomed. I knew that after the reunion was over, we would go back to our lives and never speak again.

I realized that I have to define what family means to me. I belive family is people who come into your life who make it better with their love, support, friendship and hugs. They truly care about who you are and love you no matter what. You can trust your family and you know they are always there with open arms. My family consists of my parents, my siblings, Justin, my friends and now my new west coast family who I am glad to add.

How do you define your family?

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ICA offers a series called, “Spotlight on Coaching”

Spotlight on coaching is a free tele-seminar where you listen to a interview of a coach in a particular topic. They offer live calls where you can even ask questions.

The live call this Tuesday, at 9pm EST, will have me as the guest speaker! How cool is that?

The topic is cross cultural coaching and I will be talking about cultures we never think about as cross cultural. One being gay and lesbian of course. I will also be talking about gender and age. This is a great topic to learn about and I am so glad ICA wants to share with everyone the differences the gay and lesbian community faces from a coaching perspective.

The tele-seminar is completely free so if you would like to attend you can register by clicking here! You will actually hear me talk LIVE! They will also record it and I will make sure to post the recording as well for everyone who is not able to make it.

I look forward to hearing you on the call!

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This is week twenty-one in my personal “If… Project” in which I answer questions from the book “If… (Questions for the Game of Life)”

There are 125 pages of this book, each with four questions. I plan to take one page each week and answer the questions as thoroughly and honestly as I am able. In addition, I invite you to answer the questions along with me, whether it be in the comments section, your own personal blog, or just within your own thoughts.

Perhaps in doing so, we will get to know each other better, but even more importantly, get to know ourselves better.

This week’s questions:

If you could make a gift of one thing to any single person alive today, who would it be, what would give them, and how would you present it to them?

I would give my parents the island of Bermuda. They could return to the place they meant and the whole family would be able love together with them. I think they would find that a great location to return to and would love to have the whole family together.

I would present it to them by taking them there on a trip for them to find a house open for them and surprising them with the rest of the family already being there.

If you could have composed any single piece of music that already exists, which would you choose?

I would want it to be a popular song that I could make a lot of money from. I wonder if I could own Happy Birthday and charge every time it is sung.

I am going to pick something fun! How about Axel F. Do you remember that song from the 80’s? I am going to pick that one!!

If you were invited to join one current musical group, which group would you want to be a member of, and what instrument would you play?

I would want to join Maroon 5. I think I would enjoy working with them and they seem like a fun bunch of guys. I could be the token gay guy on the group that we know of so far…

I would play bass guitar because I feel it would be better for me. I could stand up front but not have to worry about singing lead or being the lead guitar.

If you were to receive any existing public award, what award would you like to win?

Nobel Peace Prize. Who wouldn’t want to win that? I think it would be great to know you made that much of a difference in people’s lives and the world. It is a major accomplishment.

Those are my answers to this week’s questions. What are yours?

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A lot of you loved the 150 things about me and have asked I do another list. Well after some time I was able to create another list to let you know a little more about me. :)Here are 100 more things about me:

1. I love mint chocolate chip ice cream
2. I don’t like getting to the movies early because I hate waiting for the movie to begin
3. I tend to self doubt myself and have to work on not allowing it to hold me back
4. I am so excited to see the new 90210 show because Brenda is back
5. When I was younger, I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer the movie over and over again and until I new the script and the sounds in the background by heart
6. I saw a Great White Shark frozen in ice at Sea World once
7. I wanted to get a tattoo and then realized I could never come up with anything I liked that much to have on my body forever
8. The first time I was put into a pool, I just started swimming
9. I quit the tanning bed because it is so bad for your skin
10. I do not know how to parallel park
11. I always wear sunglasses
12. I hate wearing a suits and ties
13. I am passionate about stopping bullying in schools and workplaces
14. I will not try on Crocs because I am afraid they will be so comfortable I will want to wear the ugly shoes forever
15. I can not stand Dr Phil
16. I love Big Brother but I only watch the last 30 minutes of the live eviction/HOH competition episode. The rest I get from spoilers online
17. When I was younger, I was in love with New kids on the Block and Jon Knight was my favorite
18. I can spend hours on MySpace looking for people I use to know or actors/singers who are no longer famous.
19. On wii Fit, I love all the balance games and playing Super Hula Hoops
20. I love playing board games and I do not even need to win
21. I use to put the Yankee Candle car jar, Midsummer’s Night in my car because it smelt like I had a hot guy in my car
22. I am a big tipper
23. I love the show Will and Grace. I think I am the most like Grace
24. I own the Paris Hilton CD and I like a few songs from it
25. I love Lucky Brand jean button fly   Continue Reading »

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What is that? That is my new car’s first little accident. If you notice it is a paint smudge from where I hit my passenger side mirror on the garage last night as I was pulling in.

Sure I could blame the garage for being so small. Sure I could pretend it didn’t happen or spend my day dwelling on the incident but I learned a long time ago that wasn’t going to help. I know I am just clumsy.

I do not wear ties because all they do is collect the food I drop at lunch so they become a badge of what was on the menu that day. Justin always gives me extra napkins when we eat because he knows some food will just not make it to my mouth during dinner. My macbook has a small little crack spot where it fell when I placed it just for a second on a shaking surface so I could adjust the music volume I was listening to.

I must own that I am clumsy and I know exactly why. It is has nothing to do with bad luck. It all has to do with me being careless and not paying attention. I know I am the only one to blame for these accounts.

Now it comes down to how important is it to me. Yes I wish I didn’t hit my mirror but I did. Now I have to make an effort to pay attention more to the things I care about. I know this won’t be the last time it happens but I can at least be more mindful when they do.

What is something  in your life that you could change if you just took the time to think about the cause?

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Change is a part of life.

I remember being in elementary school when a guy came in to talk to us about the future. He said we would no longer use money and we would all have chips in our arms that we would wave in the air over a scanner to pay for goods. That there would be no need to for money and everything would be through this new system of exchanges.

I thought he was crazy! There was no way this could ever happen. How would we get rid of money? Who is going to get chips put in their arms?

Many years later, I never carry cash. All my money and purchases are made through a chip, which happens not to be in my arm, but on a card shaped like a credit card. I do not receive payments anymore in check format since they are all direct deposited to my account. He was right. It was if it happened over night.

Sure it didn’t happen  exactly how he or I expected, but it happened. Change will occur and sometimes it happens faster than we expect, but here are 5 ways to better handle change in our lives:

1. Change happens, get use to it - I said it! Change will happen and you have to embrace it. I am sure people did not want to stop using the typewriter for a computer but as you know, you can not find one typewriter in your office anymore. You can choose to fight it but in time, you will have to change or get left behind. Wouldn’t just be easier to embrace change and enjoy the ride?

2. Don’t allow change to control you - If you embrace change, you now are able to gain a better handle on it. Being proactive with change allows you to be part of the process to create change. You can help move it in the right pace and in the right direction. When you fight change, you are pushed along anyway. When you embrace it, you are able help mold the change so the transition is more fluid and comfortable.

3. Focus on one area at a time - Sometimes change happens in so many areas at the same time you can feel like you are losing control. Relax. You have embraced change and you are helping control it but, now you also need to learn to focus on one area at a time. Multi-tasking will kill us all. If you want real results, take on one area at a time. Create goals or a To Do List to help you manage your focus.

4. Celebrate your successes - Change is not easy but it is worth it in the end when you achieve results. Make sure you take the time to celebrate the steps and milestones along the way instead of just at the end. Momentum is a great friend to you when dealing with change. If you celebrate along the way, it will keep you moving forward and achieving great results.

5. Help others handle change - One of the best ways to learn how to handle change is to help others through changes. If you practice being a great supporter and cheerleader for others as they make changes in their lives, careers, relationships, or leadership, you start to see what really works to achieve great results. You can turn around and use these lessons in your own life PLUS you are developing relationships with people who can support you through your changes as well.

Just remember:

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly

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