Yesterday I presented “Coping with Difficult People” at a conference. I was thinking about how many times I am requested to present this topic. It tends to be a very popular and everyone always has tons of stories to share about difficult people.

They say that only 2% - 3% of the population is difficult but they take up about 50% of our time. That is a lot of our time wasted on negative people. Why waste so much time dealing with difficult people?

Isn’t true we allow people to treat us the way they do? What if we took a stance and stopped allowing difficult people in our lives or work situations. Would we send a message to difficult people that being negative or difficult doesn’t get you results?

I even thought that maybe I need to stop teaching Coping with Difficult People and teach a course called, “You are a Difficult Person”. Maybe then I would be able to help people see how their behaviors affect others and most of all, themselves.

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I am there to support my friends through think and thin. I try my best to be a strong shoulder they can lean on and someone that is there just to listen to what they have to say.

Something I love to do is have a friend vention. A friend vention is when you take your friend out to let them vent and get rid of all that unhealthy stress and tension.

Here is one of my favorite ways to release all that built up stress:

You pick up your friend in your car. You get on a long straight of road where you can just drive and drive. You blast your favorite songs together on the iPod, roll down the windows and sing on top of your lungs, badly, to your tunes as you drive down the road.

Trust me, by the end of the drive you both will feel better and probably will be laughing from all the fun and bad singing. Now, you can end the event with some milkshakes or iced chai teas to soothe your singing voice.

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On tax day it is good to think about great ways to give back. I just completed my second Relay for Life Event. It is such a good time to spend with friends and co-workers supporting a great cause. Here is a video of my friend and team leader for Relay for Life, Doshie talking about why we relay and how much we raised!

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This is week two in the “If… Project” in which I answer questions from the book “If… (Questions for the Game of Life)” My friend Nick started this off so you can read his answers over on his blog.

These are this week’s questions and my answers:

If you could have lived through any war in history (without actually fighting in it), which would it be?

Honestly, I can not come up with one single war I would want to live through. Of course, I wouldn’t want to die either but I do not think living in a war time is the best time of life. Conflict is always going to happen and we will have defend our rights but it is said that lives are still lost. I thank all those men and women who choose to protect our freedom. Thank you for all that you do because I know I wouldn’t be able to do it.

If you could eliminate any one type of insect permanently from the earth, what would you get rid of?

In Florida we have huge roaches so I would get rid of them. They gross me out and always show up when you least expect it causing you to scream like a little girl. I am sure the moment I get rid of them, it will cause some off balance and we will be attacked by spiders or ants but I really would like to see roaches gone.

If you had to eliminate a single type of animal forevermore, which would you choose?

Snakes would be gone for sure. When I listed the 150 things about me, I mentioned how I am so scared of snakes. They just freak me out! I think it is the way they move and how they are so slow and then so fast. They also hide a lot so they come out of no where and cause me to scream like a little girl, AGAIN. I know I would not miss them at all.

If you could have an elegant dinner alone with anyone presently alive, whether you know them or not, who would you want it to be?

Well, I know I would not pick someone I didn’t know. I wouldn’t want to spend a whole meal with someone I was meeting the first time besides, who knows if I would even like them in person. I would choose Justin. He would like the experience and most likely would have done tons of research about the place before we got there. He would laugh at my jokes and would let me just be myself. I wouldn’t have to worry about pretending to fit in and could really just enjoy the dinner. PLUS, Justin would so carry the takeout boxes for me.

There are my answers for this week’s questions. What are yours?

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If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up. ~J.M. Power

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I have always wanted to get a picture taken that shows your aura. I finally was able to do that yesterday. Jeff from Aura Pix took my picture and explained my aura to me.

As you can see, my picture is orange and red but my prominent color is yellow. This is what they say about yellows:

“Yellows are the most fun-loving, free spirited, energetic, and childlike personalities in the aura spectrum. Yellows are wonderful, sensitive, optimistic beings, whose life purpose is to bring joy to people, to have fun, and to help heal the planet.

Yellows can either be very shy and sensitive, or they can be the life of the party. These playful characters have a great sense of humor. They love to laugh and to make others laugh. Yellows believe life is to be enjoyed. They like to live life freely and spontaneously. With a perpetual smile on their face, they remind people to not take themselves or their problems too seriously.

Yellows would prefer not to work at all, unless their work was fun, playful, or creative. They love nature, and often have concerns for the survival of wildlife and the environment. Dogs are very drawn to Yellows and often become their best friends.”

How cool is that?

Well another thing crossed off my life list and learned a little more about myself.

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Life is all how we see it. So why is it when something goes wrong we sometimes allow it to ruin our day? Things are going to happen and it is how we choose to deal it that will decide how the rest of our day will be.

I decided to celebrate adversity with a surprise party! Adversity sometimes just shows up unexpected to throw your life into a panic. Instead of letting it just show up unexpected, I am going to act as if I expected it and throw it a party.

Here are some of the silly ways I handle adversity:

When I am driving and someone in a navy blue mini van with a bumper sticker that reads, “My son is a honor roll student” cuts me off, I do not get mad. Instead I roll down my window and scream, “Surprise! I love you!” and I throw a handful of confetti out and blow them a kiss.

When I am working on a major project and computer decides to freeze up on me until I force quit the program and lose all my work, I do get mad. I say, “Surprise! Time for another break!” and I put on my ipod and jam out to at least 3 songs during my impromptu dance party before jumping back into my work.

When I am at Starbucks waiting in line for my drink and I politely order and the barista decides to give me attitude because they are choosing to have a bad day, I don’t get mad. I finish my transaction and then look them directly in the eye and say, “I know you want this” and turn and walk away.

I know this are outlandish responses to adversity but they are fun. Take some time to figure how you are going to respond to adversity so it doesn’t upset your day. Why waste your time or energy on being mean, negative, or nasty when you can just act a fool which gives you a great story to laugh about with your friends.

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Spending time this weekend with friends got me thinking of my friends from the past. People who were in my life for a time and eventually just faded away. We both played a part in letting the friendship fade but I am still lucky to have had the time I did with them.

Life takes us in different paths and we lose touch with our friends. We no longer work with them, go to school with them or have same likes or dreams anymore. Either way, you still miss them and wonder what they are doing.

I wonder if Kim is still married and what her life is like now. I wonder where Mandy is and what drama is going on in her life. I know Lennart is still Lennart and I just hope he is happy. I think about when I worked at Red Lobster and wonder how Aleks, Heather, Frank, Ryan, and Debbie are doing. I wonder what happened to Fran and Terry. I wonder if Mike is still doing touring shows. I miss Natalia and wonder how her child is and her life. I miss Stacey and wonder if she is still working or staying home with her daughter now. I wonder how Peter’s life turned out with moving back home with his parents. Is he still in the closet or has he come out. I think about my acting days and wonder how Jessica and Dave are doing. I wonder if Vanessa is still married and working in timeshare or has she moved on.

Hopefully one day, I will randomly run into them and get to catch up. Maybe they will even come back and be part of my life. But I can not stay thinking about the past because it is just that, the past. I do not know what the future will bring but I know it will include some of my current friends, new friends and new adventures.

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This past weekend I spend time with my friend Nick who came down for what he called his gay-cation with Lauren, Karen and his boyfriend, Kevin.

We spent the day at Magic Kingdom enjoying the sights. Unfortunately one of the sights of Florida they didn’t want was the wonderful sudden thunderstorms. We got caught many times in the storm’s pouring rain but were lucky to always find an attraction to keep us from getting completely soaked. At one point, we just missed a random downpour by getting in line for “It’s A Small World”. Here is a quick video of us on the ride. Enjoy Justin’s dancing:

The storms allowed us to get exercise running from one side of the park to the other to see if the Jungle Cruise would finally be open. We weren’t able to see the Castle Show due to the weather but were treated to seeing one of the dancer’s back was scarred up from which I hope was only a drunken night fall and not a “Sleeping with the Enemy” type boyfriend episode.

We set up at our “secret” viewing area to get an almost front row sit to the fireworks early in the night. Unfortunately, 20 minutes before the show, we had to move the table quickly under the overhang when the storm poured on us one more time.

The Wishes fireworks were great and Tinkerbell, which we were afraid wouldn’t show because of the weather, flew right above us to end the night in the Disney magical way.

I realized on the way home that the weather didn’t damper our time together. It was the friendship and laughter that kept our day sunny. I am glad to have been able to spend another day with one of my best friends, Nick as well as make new friends from NYC.

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My friend Nick found this great book of questions that allow you to really think about your life and choices you would make in a variety of situations. He is going to post 4 of the questions each week and his answers.

Talking with him, I decided to do also post my answers to the questions each week. This will allow everyone just to get to know a little more about me each Monday.

This week’s questions:

If you were granted one wish, what would it be?

This is a simple question that reminds me of being in elementary school. When ever someone offers you a wish you ALWAYS wish for more wishes. This way you have tons of options when it comes to wishing. IT just makes sense.

Of course, if the rule was you could only have one wish and could not have more wishes, I think I would wish for good health for my friends, family and myself. I know it wasn’t for the world but I figure it is like in the movies when you wish it for the whole world there is this evil consequence so I recommend making friends with me if you want good health.

If you could spend one whole night alone with anyone in the world who is currently alive, who would you select?

I would pick Megan Mullally. I think she is a riot and from her talk show, I can see she is down to earth, quick witted and just fun to be around. I figure spending an evening with her will be filled with great conversation that is not just about her, lots of laughter and great food. I believe she also is a loyal friend and if you are lucky enough to be part of her circle friends you would have a friend for life who truly has your back. PLUS, I would have to get her to do Karen, just once.

If you could spend one whole alone with anyone in history, who would you choose?

I really can not think of anyone I would like to meet from history. If history means that past is no longer here, I would choose my mother’s grandma. I wasn’t ever able to meet her so it would be nice to finally spend time with someone my mom talks about so much. I know she is a sweet woman and full of funny adventurous stories. I know she is full of love and I would leave feeling great and able to connect with part of my family I would have never had the chance to meet without this opportunity.

If you could physically transport yourself to any place in the world at this moment, where would you go?

I know exactly where I would go Sydney, Australia. I do not know why but I have always wanted to go there. As you know it is a very long flight so it would be great just to be there in a moment. I have heard how friendly the people are and the city and sites look beautiful! I would to be able to just spend sometime over there, soak up the culture and maybe some sun rays and then head back home.

There are my answers for this week questions. I hope you will share your answers with me.

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