Wednesday is all about comments!

I know the number of subscribers I have and I see the amount of people who view my blog on a daily basis. I want to hear from you so I do not feel alone in cyberspace.

Today, I would love for you to leave me a comment.

Just say hi, tell me where you live, tell me your favorite color, or anything you want. I just want to hear from you!

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I was able to visit my friend’s new condo in Downtown Orlando building called the Vue. His place is beautifully decorated and the wall to floor windows give you a great view of Downtown Orlando and Lake Eola.

It also gave me a different view, a view on my fear of heights. His condo is located on the 38th floor. When we got off on the 7th floor for a tour of the pool and observation deck, I loved the view and enjoyed the cool breeze.

When we got up to his floor (after a ride in the elevator which made my ears pop like on a plane) I was shocked by how nervous I got just looking outside the windows. He tried to get me to sit on the balcony but for some reason I just couldn’t do it.

My legs were shaking and I just had this sudden fear of falling. I have never been a fan of heights but I didn’t think I would react like this from the view.

I did learn it was important not to allow your fears to get in the way of your life. I allowed myself slowly to adjust to the view and kept pushing myself a little at a time to look longer out the window.

Sure I never made it to the balcony but I was able to handle the view without feeling anxious. It just took a few small steps to help me become comfortable and relaxed. I may never get over my fear of heights but I can at least reduce the fear.

PLUS, I learned that I will never be living in a high rise building!

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 This is week four in my personal “If… Project” in which I answer questions from the book “If… (Questions for the Game of Life)”

This week’s questions:

If you could change one thing in the world right now, what would you alter?

I would work on helping people get a better understanding about making fun of people for being gay. I would want to help people see how gay jokes are not funny and hurt a lot of the GLBT members. We still believe it is ok to make fun of people for being gay.

An example I love to use is straight men. They find that it is a great joke by making comments doubting their friend’s sexuality or making them to be less of a man because of gay traits or descriptions. They may say it is all in good fun but really it is saying it is better to be straight than gay.  

It is not about prejudice but about education. This type of joking has been allowed for such a long time I do not think people even realize they are making people feel less than others. This is the whole issue with gay rights and treating people fairly.

If you had to assassinate one famous person who is alive right now, who would it be, and how would you do it?

Seriously, I can not think of anyone to kill. I just think it is wrong besides you may get rid of someone you do not like but someone worse may take their place.

With that said, Ryan Seacrest you are lucky I am in a giving mood…

If you could permanently alter one thing about your physical appearance, what would you change?

Everyone knows it would be not to lose my hair. It is a part of life in my family but I would like not to have to deal with it. It was one of the only physical things that makes me feel insecure. It would be nice to not have to worry about it anymore.

If you could have stopped aging at any point in your life up to the present, how old would you want to remain?

I am not sure if I want to stop aging. I think it is all about the process. I have learned that each year brings something new. Maybe I would stop right after I turned 30 this year. I think it is going to be a great milestone and great year.

You are really only as old as you choose to be.

Those are my answers for this week’s questions. What are yours?

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This week I finally saw “Wicked”. I know everyone and their brother has seen it already but it was my turn to see it this week.

I bought tickets in November for my mom and sister as well as Justin as a holiday gift.

I didn’t know what to expect but I really enjoyed it. It is a funny show with quite the message behind the whole story. I do not want to give a lot away but they did a great job of including Wizard of Oz in the story as well as making “Wicked” a modern tale you can relate to.

If you haven’t seen it yet, I do recommend you check it out.

There is a story behind my story as well. My mom is turning 70 next year which means it is not as easy for her to get around. I do not want to say it is her health but more of her belief of not wanting to make people feel inconvenienced.

She walks slower now because she has fallen before and she is careful when walking steps to always hold on the hand rail. I am always encouraging her to go out but she feels better staying home.

Taking her to “Wicked” let me see why she prefers to stay home. When we arrived at the theatre we had to climb tons of steps to only then walk down tons more. No one offered us an elevator or a simple way to get to our seats. When we got to our seats, no one stood up to make it easier to get to our seats. I was having a hard time not falling over people’s feet. When we got a break in the show for 15 minutes, everyone rushed to the stairs to use the restroom. My mom knew she couldn’t make it up the stairs in time to get in line and use the restroom before the show started so she didn’t go.

She doesn’t want to go out to inconvenience people but people are making the world an inconvenience to her. Why wouldn’t anyone notice it was hard for her to walk and offer their help? Why wouldn’t the people stand up to let her get to her seat? Why wasn’t there an easier way to get in the theatre in the first place?

In a culture that idolizes the youth we forget we all are growing older by each day and one day soon, we will have a hard time getting to our seats. Take notice of your actions and try to make it easier for others so when it is your turn, hopefully someone will do the same for you.

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If you are having a bad day or your boss is just being an extra mean jerk, smile like crazy at everyone you see!

I promise that most people, almost all kids and even some small animals will smile back at you. We tend to not smile a lot in our daily lives so when we do others do react positively. With everyone starting to smile at you, you will start feeling better.

But, you can look at it another way. If you are feeling totally stressed, totally down or depressed and you keep smiling all the time, you can feel like a raving lunatic which can be really fun and it freaks people out. So that will defiantly make you feel better when you see all the reactions you will get from acting a fool!

So next time you are feeling down or blue, put a huge smile on your face and just have fun with it. Sometimes a nice smile back is all you need to make you feel better. Especially if it from the hot guy in marketing you have been eyeing for months.

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Outside my door is a sign like this:

I went through training to allow me to be a safe space for gay, lesbian, transgender and bisexual people to come and talk without judgement.

What is crazy about this is the looks I get from people who see it. They always look at it and make a face. Never in a good way but a look of judgement. Most of them do not even know what it stands for and never even ask. They assume it is just to let people know I am gay, which it is not.

Allies can be anyone (straight or gay) who support the GLBT community. What the reactions tell me is that we are a long way from being accepted in the workplace and we need more allies out there to help us.

As I said in an earlier post, I stand up for people who are bullied and I know the GLBT needs my support. That is why I took the training and why I am proud not only as a gay man but a person of the world to be an ally.

I may not change the world but I can make a difference in some people’s lives.

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Check out this video Justin and I made of our fun at Wonderworks.  

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Here are this week’s IF questions…

If you could alter one physical characteristics of your mate, what would you change?

What would I change? I do not know if I would. If I did he wouldn’t really be who I fell in love with. I know I could come up with a list of things I could change about myself so maybe I would just ask him what he wanted and make his wish come true. I do not know but I do not think there is anything to change physically.

Now, with that said, I would like to cut his ties with his GPS “Emily”.

If you could dine alone with anyone from any period in history, which person would it be?

Like my friend Nick said, these dining questions are coming up A LOT. I really can not come up with anyone else to eat with. Maybe one of my friends so we can laugh and enjoy our time? I know I love to eat but how many more dining questions do I have to answer!

Maybe I am tired of inviting people. I want someone to invite me from history. So who is it going to be…I am waiting…

If you could, in retrospect, change one thing about your childhood, what would it be?

Again, I do not know if I would change anything because it made me who I am. But, I do know something I would change. I would change being bullied in school for being gay.

I, of course, hadn’t come to terms with it at the time. I was in middle school and a day didn’t go by where the boys were not calling me a fag. Not just saying it, which happened everyday, but making a point to crowd around me and taunt me almost to tears. I knew better not to cry because that meant it only got worse. I watched as my friends would slowly pull away from me. They didn’t stand up for me or support me, they just looked down and were embarrassed to be seen with me. I never felt so alone in my life.

This happened so publicly that I am surprised an adult never stepped in. Then again, they were too busy dealing with their lives and it was just another kid being teased. There were tons of times adults would jump in when racial slurs were mentioned or girls were attacked but being gay was not protected. It was OK to call a kid a fag.

In the 8th grade my mom withdrew me to be home schooled after the 3rd year of taking the abuse. I was finally free from it all and was able to pick myself back up. My mom saved me.

I wish I would have stood up for myself. I wish I wasn’t so scared back then. I wish I wouldn’t have all the insecurity issues I had to work on because of this experience. BUT, this experience made me who I am today. This is why I stand up for myself NOW. This is why I stand up for others who are being bullied or treated unfairly. This is why I learned to choose better friends who are with you through thick and thin. This is why I learned to love myself.

If you could have any room in the world become your bedroom from now on, which room would you choose?

I would love an open air room that is on the ocean. I would love to have a bed where you can wake up and see and hear the ocean waves crashing. I would love to open the windows to feel the ocean breeze in my room and smell the salty air.

Those are my answers for this week’s questions. What are yours?

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I love random things! It is always the small random things that make me laugh. These unplanned events that happen can keep me laughing forever.

Justin and I tried a new restaurant this evening. It was a gorgeous place and we both enjoyed the food. At the end of the meal, the server took our plates then randomly returned with a orange sliced on a small plate. He placed it on the table and looked at us as if to say, “Look! I brought you an orange because you are special. Enjoy!”

Justin and I couldn’t help but start laughing about how random this event was. It just was delivered so unexpectedly. It is these random moments that just make life so much fun. I am so thankful for these times.

What random things have happened to you recently that just made you laugh out loud?

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Mornings SUCK! I am not a morning person as you can now tell. I can honestly say I am always late to work in the AM because I can not get my bottom out of bed!

Maybe it is because I do not sleep well at night. My mind is always racing so it is hard for me to fall asleep. After I do fall asleep, I tend to wake up during the night and start thinking all over again. Then the morning comes and I am dreading getting out of bed.

So I am trying to improve my morning experience. I know that being late is not the best thing and I need to enjoy getting up in the AM.

Here are some of the tips I am going to try:

1. Go to bed early - Right now I tend to go to bed around 10 or 11. I am going to try to set a consistent bed time and see if this will allow me to get enough sleep.

2. Have drapes that let the light in - I am buying new drapes so when the sun starts to rise it will allow the light in. This is supposed to be the best way to wake up naturally.

3. Stop hitting snooze - When it is time to get up, I am going to stop giving myself the option to hit the snooze button. Instead I will just get up.

4. Play Music - My friend swears that if you get up and turn on music, it will get you excited about the day and make your shower more fun.

5. Learn to Enjoy the Morning - I really enjoy the night so it will be a change for me to enjoy the morning. I am going to look into ways that I can enjoy it. Maybe it will be the birds singing, the sun rising or just the quiet before the day begins.

I may never LOVE the mornings but I can learn to like them a little more. Maybe I just need to remind myself of the joy of naps.

Subscribe to my blog to learn more of my misadventures!

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