Archive for January, 2008

Jan 31 2008

Posted by Michael under Coaching, Life List, Self Reflection

To Swim or Not To Swim

I have been excited about the opportunity to actually swim in the Seas with Nemo and Friends aquarium at Epcot. If you have ever been to Epcot and visited the pavilion, it is HUGE tank which can actually fit Spaceship Earth inside of it.

I love aquariums and fish and when I heard about the Seas Aqua Tour, I was so excited to sign up. I can not wait to not only get a backstage tour but then get to jump in and swim away.

I have shared my interest in this activity with many of my friends who immediately say no, they wouldn’t do it. Why won’t they do it? Because there are sharks swimming with you in the huge tank. Of course they are over fed and there are not many of them but they are still too scared to go. What if they panic while in the water…

This of course got my self doubt going wondering what will I do. So far I am not scared and I am thrilled to do it. They put tons of people in there all the time so I doubt there is a risk but what if? What if there is no risk but I do panic and freak out!!

 I spend my life wondering about all the what ifs and never take the plunge which leads to me missing out on the opportunity. There are tons of what ifs, some saying no and some saying what if you don’t do it. So I have to make a choice, is it worth it to me?

No one will know what will happen until I jump in. Taking action is the only think I need to do. So I am moving forward with my plan and I am jumping in. I do not want to look back and wish I had and hate that I didn’t because I allowed others create doubt in my mind.

Anyone care to join me for a swim?

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Jan 30 2008

Posted by Michael under Coaching, Quotes

Quote

Henri Nouwen:

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

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Jan 29 2008

Posted by Michael under Coaching, Self Reflection

Down Days

There are those dreaded days where you just feel down. You could be sick, you could be lonely, you could be missing someone, or you can just be down for no reason at all. I know you expect me to tell you to smile, sing a song and skip the whole day to get out of it. No.

It is OK to have a down day. It is normal in our lives to need a moment from we just can’t be the most positive smiling person in the world. That is fine. Now, how you handle your down day is how you survive.

When I get sick with the flu, I try to fight it off as much as I can. I go about my day as if nothing is wrong and I just have a little cold. I push myself along and keep laughing and enjoying the day. After a few days of it, my body lets me know I need to give it up and rest. How do I find this out? I wake up one morning feeling like I was hit by a truck and just want to cry.

When this happens, I catch myself trying to put on another strong brave face but stop and say. It is OK to be down, today you have a pity party. So I do, stay home and feel gross and sleep the day away. I complain I am sick and can’t wait until I feel better.

It is the next day that makes a difference. When I wake up and still feel sick. Before I start the second pity party, I remind myself I already did that. I had my day and now today I am working on being better.

It is OK to take time out to miss someone, to feel lonely or sad but it is the amount of time we spend on it that affects our lives. Allow yourself the time to feel these emotions BUT do not allow yourself to get stuck in them You need to let them out or they will just sprung up somewhere else. So take the time but stay in control in the amount of time you will let yourself feel down.

Lets be honest, who wants to be down all the time? No one. So enjoy your pity party for the day but pick yourself up the next day and start charging ahead. You can do it.

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Jan 28 2008

Posted by Michael under Coaching, Friends, Relationships

She’s Getting Married

Over this weekend, my friend Stephanie got in engaged. It is a wonderful story on how she met her fiance and the proposal couldn’t be better. It is great to see her glowing and enjoying the excitement around her engagement.

I know I have asked people this question many times, “How do you know if they are the ONE?” Friends have asked me this same question over the years. We would love someone with a crystal ball to tell us, “YES, they are the one!”

Once we knew that, we would get mad at all their flaws because we would know they were meant for us. We wouldn’t have silly fights with with them and ignore their calls for a day, because we knew they were the one. We would also not doubt our relationship or happiness because we would know, they were the one.

That just isn’t how it works. Relationships take a lot of work. It is about give and take. It is about communication and friendship. It is not about finding someone who youcan put up with their flaws, it is finding someone who knows your flaws and loves you anyway.

So how do you know if they are the one, you just do. If they are the one, they will be worth your commitment and time. You both will give yourselves to make it work because you have each other and that is all that matters.

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Jan 25 2008

Posted by Michael under Coaching, PlanetOut

Life List Article

Check here to read an article I wrote for PlanetOut.com about Life Lists
Click Here!

Did that article get you excited about starting on your life list? Here is a great resource to help you along the way! My Life List Guided Journal will help you create your life list based on all areas of your life. The guided topics help you create great ideas you could add to your life. It is an eBook so you can get started right away!!


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Jan 24 2008

Posted by Michael under Coaching

When to Say When

Life is not easy. If it was, we would all be on vacation. :) We have to fight and work hard if we really want to get results out of life. Sometimes it seems as if it is too hard but we need to look at the situation before we jump to fast…

Only 24% of the population has college degrees. Working for colleges I know how easy it is to give up. Taking all those courses you will never use but we all had to do it, and we survived. It is about commitment. I knew I didn’t want to keep the job I had working as a server so I had to get through school. It was so easy to skip class to be with friends and give up when the course was hard. I had to fight myself and learn that is was best to push through because I didn’t want to be where I was forever and this was my ticket out.

One of my friends was talking to me about relationships and mentioned this great metaphor about a balloon. You have to look at choices as a balloon that you are holding onto by a string. If the balloon is draining you and holding it back, let it go. But before you cut it free, make sure it is not lifting you up to where you need to be.

Living in the here and now is very important but you also need to remember the big picture. Where are you going? Make your choices on what will help you to get where you need to be. They may not be easy choices but they will be the best.

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Jan 23 2008

Posted by Michael under Coaching

It’s All About You

A friend of mine was talking to me about her future. She was telling me all about her plans and what she wanted. Her husband seemed to pull her down sometimes though on reaching her goal. She would be so frustrated about it because she was planning on him.

 I asked her one questions, “Why does HE have to help you?”

 She never thought about it. In our culture, we are taught that people pair off into couples and you become a team and work together for your goals. Why do both parties have to work towards the same goal? Couldn’t you get there all on your own?

It is easy to work together on something because it makes it easier. Sometimes in a good way but sometimes in a codependent way. Sometimes our partner is a safety net to protect us from messing up. We can blame them if it doesn’t go right. We can blame them for lack of commitment. We can blame them….PERIOD.

My friend realized she was making these plans and insisting he come along as her person to blame from not achieving her goal. She never thought she could do it all on her own. She really doesn’t need his help, just his support. When she was able to see this, it freed her of frustration and allowed her to work on her goal depending on just herself.

When it all came down to it, she achieved the goal and finally bought the house she wanted. Her husband who had been saving money just the same but was not counted on, added extra funds for moving, security system, etc.

 She did it on her own and she is proud of what she did.

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Jan 22 2008

Posted by Michael under Article, Coaching

Coaches Wanted

Here is a great article about life coaching form the New York Times. Check it out!

 http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/13/jobs/13starts.html?_r=2&scp=2&sq=life+coaching&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

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Jan 21 2008

Posted by Michael under Coaching, Self Reflection

Jealousy

Paris Hilton wrote a song about it on her CD. It was about her friendship with Nicole Richie from her point of view. The song goes over how Nicole was jealous of her but writing a song about it makes me think maybe she was jealous too…

 What is jealousy? I feel it is when you want something someone else has. This can be an accomplishment,  relationships, personal item, etc. Well, if they have something you want, why can’t you get it yourself?

 It all comes from how you look at it. You can chose to be jealous that someone has something you don’t and throw yourself a pity party or you can realize that you want what they have so ask them how they got it. Maybe you just need to figure out a plan on your own on how to get it. This is an opportunity where you can learn how to make things happen for you and now you just need to do the work to get it done.

 It is easy to give up and blame others for how you feel or what you do not have. What if you take the time to figure out how to get what you want? If you want it bad enough, it should be worth the work. Stop dwelling on not having it and starting planning on how to get it. The faster you do this, the faster you will achieve what you want. It is going to be so much better when you achieve what you want on your own. Then it is yours and there is nothing to be jealous about.

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Jan 18 2008

Posted by Michael under Coaching, Family

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my Dad’s birthday. Of course we will be celebrating the event with lunch at Red Lobster(his favorite place to eat) with the family.

 My dad is a simple man. He enjoys playing his golf video game, watching Guiding Light and eating food that may not be the best for him. He is quiet but how could he get a word in with my mom and I talking anyway. He has the kindest, loving heart and is truly proud of me which is the best gift I can ask from my dad.

My father worked his whole life until his retirement. He supported the family while my mom was at home with the kids. I never needed or wanted anything. My life as a child was blessed and still as an adult it is very blessed from all the work he did.

My dad can truly be depended on and has always been there to help me with tons of topics that I never understood. He helps me with my flat tires and car problems. He helps me with gardening and taking car of my house. He has always been my hero.

So on this day I wish my Dad a Happy Birthday because without him, I wouldn’t be the man I am today.

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